what if
by Fallenhope19
Summary: The Harry Potter characters watch AVPM and they are joined by the mysterious Aria and Jamie. Who are they and what do they know about the future? HP/HM RW/LB DM/CC GW/NL LV/BL
1. Chapter 1

**What if…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter characters they belong to J K Rowling; I also do not own the AVPM characters they belong to StarKidPotter. I only own Aria and her cat.**

**Chapter one**

**Hi I know there are a lot of these stories out there, but I wanted to have a go also. So please enjoy as I attempt comedy.**

A bright light filled the room as the characters from Harry Potter avaporated into bright room. Harry Potter looked at his two best friends Ron and Hermione before viewing who else had been transported to this strange place. The room looked like a room from a muggle house and in the middle sat a computer, _strange_ he thought as he saw other witches and wizards avaporating in. First there was the moody potion master Professor Snape, followed by Ginny Weasly followed by Draco Malfoy, and then at last much to his horror Lord Voldemort! Everyone was muttering about why where they here and what was going on. Voldemort spotted Harry and drew his wand, "I don't know what's going on Potter but I know that I'm not going to let you live to find out!" he hissed in his snake like voice. Harry paled and grabbed his wand, "Bring it Snake face!" he spat, Voldemort was just about to shout the fatal words of the killing curse before a new voice rang out "I wouldn't do that if I were you Tom Marvolo Riddle!"The voice was taunting but somehow innocent at the same time. Voldemort gave Harry a death glare as a young girl stepped out of the shadows, she had long flowing black hair that curled at the ends and piercing silver eyes. "I suggest you all put your wands away, for there is an enchantment on this house that prevents curses, hexes etc from accruing. Now you are properly wondering who I am yes?" the girl asked servaying the nodding of heads. "My name Arianna Silverstream, I have brought you here to try and-" she then stopped herself and turned to Harry" I'm sorry but how old are you Mr Potter I would not wish to give an ending of a long battle away if it is far away yet" Harry nodded pretending to understand. "Er I'm sixteen" he answered awkwardly. Aria nodded, "Good, good now I wish none of you to be offended by what I am about to show you, it seems Muggles know all about you Mr Harry James Potter," she said smiling at Harry "I would like to introduce to you, A very Potter Musical!" and with that she flicked her wand so that the small muggle computer enlarged itself. Clicking on the video she turned back to the group of confused Wizards and Witches and sighed, "Basically it's a movie about you guys" Hermione nodded and explained about movies.

Suddenly a guitar rift played upon the screen as the logo of StarKidPotter came on, "What's StarKidPotter?" Ginny asked, Aria shrugged "I presume the guy who made the musical" Ginny seemed satisfied with this answer. "Have you any popcorn?" Ron asked, Aria gave him a funny look "Ron Weasly are you a Wizard or not?" she asked, Draco grinned as Ron blushed. "Accio Popcorn" he muttered and a big bag of butter popcorn appeared. "Are we all set, and promise not to murder a certain someone?" Aria asked eyeing Voldy who gave his Wizard honour not to try and murder Harry Potter.

Aria pressed play as some white writing appeared talking about how it was a fan made musical, then a very big title that read A Very Potter Musical was shone. The music changed as the show began, showing what looked like harry sitting centre stage on a chair.

**Harry**

**Underneath these stairs I hear the taunts and feel the glares, of my cousin my Uncle and my Aunt.**

**I can't believe how cruel they are and it stings my lightning scar to know they'll never ever give me what I want.**

Harry stared at the actor playing himself, "No way is that suppose to be me!" he cried, Aria gave him a pitiful look "It gets better don't worry Harry Potter" she said softly and pressed play.

**I know I don't deserve these awful rules made by the Dersleys here on Privet drive.**

**Can't take these stupid Muggles **

**But despite all of my struggles**

**I'm still alive!**

Voldy glared at the screen and mumbled about how Potter was going to die a long and painful death for that comment.

**Sick of summer and this waiting around**

**Yeah it's September so I'm skipping this town,**

**Hey it's no mystery **

**There is nothing here for me now.**

Hermione glanced at Aria who was mouthing the words, "Have you seen this before Aria?" she asked. Aria blushed "Yeah at least a hundred times" she admitted turning her attention back to the screen.

**Gotta get back to Hogwarts **

**Gotta get back to school**

**Gotta get myself to Hogwarts **

**Where everyone thinks I'm cool**

"Really Potter you actually think that?" Draco sneered, Aria muttered a silence charm which shut the blond up, he gave her a death glare which she returned with a polite smile before releasing him.

**Back to witches and Wizards and magical bests **

**To Goblins and Ghosts and to magical feasts**

**It's all that I love and it's all that I need **

**At Hogwarts, Hogwarts I think I'm going back.**

Harry's character was now up and moving around, Aria noticed Ginny staring dreamily at both Harry Potters. Quickly hiding a smile she couldn't wait for the next part.

**I'll see my friends gonna laugh till we cry**

**Take my Firebolt gonna take to the sky,**

**No way this year anyone's gonna die!**

**And its gonna be totally awesome!**

**I'll cast some spells with the flick of my wand,**

**Defeat the Dark arts yeah bring it on!**

Voldemort was glaring at the musical Harry now and started making more death threats.

**And do it all with my best friend Ron**

**Cause together we're totally awesome!**

**Ron**

**Did somebody say Ron Weasly?**

Ron stared at his musical self in horror, he was wearing a bright red wig and a blue sweat band around his head, "That cannot be me!" he groaned. Draco was silently smirking, "I bet my character is the best one there and most attractive" he mused, everyone rolled their eyes.

_Ron and Harry hugged on stage._

**Ron**

**Sorry I took so long to get here, I had to get some flu powder, er we better get going get your trunk lets go.**

**Harry**

**Where we going?**

**Ron**

**To Diagon Alley of course**

**Harry**

**Cool**

**Ron**

**Come on**

**Both **

**Flu powder, powder flu powder, powder flue powder, powder.**

_Both boys run round stage making weird hand gestures._

**Ron**

**It's been so long but we're going back, don't go for work don't go there for class.**

Hermione gave both Harry and Ron death glares, "No wonder you always have detentions!" she accused. Harry put his hands up in surrender "Hey this isn't us! This is American muggle us" he joked, Hermione slapped him.

**Harry**

**As long as we're together **

**Ron**

**Gonna kick some ass**

**Both**

**And its gonna be totally awesome!**

**This year we plan to take everyone by storm,**

**Stay up all night, sneak out of our dorm.**

**Hermione**

**But let's not forget that we need to perform well in class if we want to pass our OWLS**

Hermione's eyes went wide at the sight of her character, "That can't be me! My hair isn't that frizzy!" she cried miserably, Snape grinned he could tell it could only get worse for Granger.

**Ron**

**Oh my God Hermione why do you have to be such a buzz kill**

**Hermione **

**Because guys,**

**I may be frumpy, but I'm super smart  
>check out my grades, they're "A's" for a start<br>what I lack in looks well I make up in heart,  
>and well guys, yeah, that's totally awesome<strong>

**This year I plan to study a lot...**

Everyone started laughing except Hermione who was sulking, "That is something you would say Hermione" Ron laughed, Hermione through popcorn at him.

**Ron**

**That would be cool if you were actually hot**

**Harry**

**Hey Ron come on, we're the only friends that she's got**

**Ron**

**And that's cool**

**Hermione**

**And that's totally awesome**

**All**

**Yeah it's so cool, and it's totally awesome!**

**We're sick of summer and this waiting around  
>it's like we're sitting in the lost and found<br>don't take no sorcery  
>for anyone to see how...<strong>

**we gotta get back to Hogwarts  
>we gotta get back to school<br>we gotta get back to Hogwarts  
>where everything is magic-cooooool<strong>

Everyone was now in hysteric with laughing, even Hermione was giggling at her character's funny dancing.

**EVERYONE****  
>back to witches and wizards, and magical beasts<br>to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts  
>it's all that I love, and it's all that I need at<br>HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS**

**I think we're going back.**

The screen blanked, "Who wants to watch the next part?" Aria asked shouts of agreement followed as she clicked on part two.

_A ginger girl ran on stage after the golden trio._

**Ginny**

**RON! You were meant to take me to Madame Mulkins and use those sickles mom gave you for my robe fittings.**

**Harry**

**Who's this?**

**Ron**

**Er this is dumb stupid little sister Ginny, she's a freshman, Ginny this is Harry, Harry Potter this is Harry Potter.**

Ginny blushed at how her character was acting, how could this StarKidPotter know of her crush on Harry? Did she really act like that?

**Ginny**

**Oh your Harry Potter, you're the Boy-That-Lived.**

**Harry**

**Yeah and your Ginny**

**Ginny**

**It's Genevra **

**Harry**

**Ginny's fine**

_Ron did a weird sort of clapping above Ginny squeal_

Voldemort looked interested and turned to Ron, "Is that some sort of torture curse?" he asked. Ron shrugged "Don't know mate that's not me"

**Ron**

**Stupid sister don't crowd the famous friend**

**Hermione**

**Do you hear music?**

**Harry**

**Music, what you talking about**

**Ron**

**Some ones coming**

**Cho's posse **

**Cho Chang domo arigato. Cho Chang, gung hey fat Choy**

**Chang, Happy, Happy new year Cho Chang.**

Harry like his musical self was drooling at one of the three girls who had appeared on stage and were dancing.

**Ginny**

**Oh, who's that?**

**Ron**

**That's Cho Chang, the girl Harry's been totally in love with since freshman year.**

**Hermione **

**Yeah but he won't say anything to her **

**Ron**

**Yeah you never tell a girl you like her, it makes you look like an idiot.**

All the males in the room cheered and high fived each other while Hermione, Ginny and Aria both shared am annoyed look.

_Ginny went over to Cho's posse and goes up to Lavender Brown._

**Ginny**

**Ahem, Konichiwa Cho Chang, It is good to meet you. I am Gi-nn-y Wea-s-ly.**

**Lavender Brown**

**Bitch I aint Cho Chang!**

**Ron**

**That's Lavender Brown! Racist sister!**

_Ron did the clap thing over Ginny's head._

**Cho Chang**

**That's alright I'm Cho Chang ya'll**

**Harry**

**She is totally perfect**

Draco sneered at Harry who was already blushing at his lovesick self, "Gotta crush Potter?" he asked snidely, Harry glared "Shut up Ferret!" Voldemort watched as the two rivals launched themselves at each other. "Why does Draco get to hurt Potter and I don't?" he pouted, Aria flicked her wand and muttered "seperato" Draco and Harry were flung to different sides of the room. "Now I'm gonna press play and your all going to watch nicely savvy?" she ordered. Mutters of "Yes Aria" came from Harry and Draco. Aria smiled, and pressed play.

**Ron**

**Too bad she's dating Cedric Diggory**

**Harry**

**What? Who the hell is Cedric Diggory?**

_The Golden trio are pushed aside as Cedric enters and looks at Cho._

**Cedric**

**Cho Chang, I am so in love with Cho Chang. **

**From Bangkok to Ding Dang**

**I sing my love aloud for Cho Chang**

**Harry**

**Uh I hate that guy!**

**Ron**

**So are we going to get those robes or not?**

**Ginny**

**Ok let's go**

**Ron**

**God sister**

_The Golden trio exit stage and enter Neville who runs into Crabbe and Goyle _

Ginny stared at the display her character had just shone, "I do not act like that!" she whined, "Yeah you do Gin" Ron laughed however was silenced with a death glare that even Lord Voldemort shrank back from.

**Goyle **

**Present your arm nerd**

_Neville gives his arm and Goyle points his wand to it._

**Indian Burn hex!**

Everyone who knew what an Indian burn was fell to the floor in fits of laughter, Voldy even write it down on a piece of paper with a rare smile on his face.

_The Golden Trio enter_

**Ron**

**Er Crabbe and Goyle**

**Ginny**

**Are you ok?**

_Runs to Neville_

**Harry**

**Hey why don't you leave Neville Longbottom Alone? **

_Ginny helps Neville off stage_

**Goyle**

**Well, well, well if it isn't Harry potter you think because you're famous you can boss people around!**

Aria's eyes flickered over to where Draco was sitting; a tear welled in his eyes as he smiled at the fact of his friend showing so much emotion.

**Harry**

**No I just don't think it's cool for a guy of your size to be picking on a guy the size of Neville come on.**

**Goyle**

**Do you know what I think? Glasses are for nerds, we hate nerds!**

_Goyle snaps the glasses and hands them back to Harry_

Both Draco and Voldemort shared a look before pointing at Harry and going "Nerdy nerd nerdy nerd nerdy nerd!" Harry rolled his eyes and introduced them to his middle finger, Draco gasped "That's naughty" everyone laughed.

**Crabbe**

**And girls**

**Ron**

**You asked for it! You don't mess with Harry Potter! He beat the Dark Lord when he was a baby.**

**Hermione**

**Alright everyone just calm down, Occulus repairo **

_Harry's glasses were suddenly fixed and on his face._

**Harry**

**Wow cool**

**Hermione**

**Now let's leave these big baby childish jerks alone.**

**Draco **

**Did someone say Draco Malfoy?**

Draco screamed as his character entered, he was appalled that he Draco Malfoy was being portrayed by a girl! "Hey Draco she looks just like you" Harry laughed, "Shuttit Potter" he warned.

**Harry**

**Er Draco what do you want**

**Draco**

**So Potter back for a another year at Hogwarts are you? Maybe this year you'll wise up and hang out with a higher calibre of Wizard.**

**Harry**

**Listen Draco, Ron and Hermione are my best friends and I wouldn't trade them or anything.**

"Thanks Harry!" Ron and Hermione cried and hugged Harry, Voldemort and Snape made gagging noises, "Get a room!" Ginny and Draco shouted.

**Draco**

**Have your way, wait don't tell me red hair, hand me down robes and a stupid completion. You must be a Weasly.**

**Ron**

**Hey Malfoy lay of my sister ok, she may be a pain in the ass, but she's my pain in the ass.**

**Draco**

**Oh isn't this cute, it's like a little looser family.**

**Hogwarts has really gone to the dogs this year,**

**Luckily next year I'll be transferred to Pigfarts.**

Everyone gave Draco a weird look, Draco shrugged "Don't look at me" he said.

**This year you bet **

**Gonna get out of here**

**The reign of Malfoy is drawing near**

**I'll have the greatest wizard career,**

**Its gonna be totally awesome**

**Look out world for the dawn of the day,**

**When everyone will do WHATEVER I say!**

**And Potter won't be in my way**

**And I'll be the one that is totally awesome!**

**Goyle**

**And you'll be the one that is totally awesome!**

**Hermione**

**Guys come on we're gonna miss the train!**

**All**

**Who knows how fast this year's gonna go**

**Hand me a glass let the butter beer flow**

**Harry**

**Maybe at last I'll talk to Cho**

**Ron**

**Oh no that's way to awesome**

**All**

**We're back to learn everything that we can,**

**It's great to come back to where we began**

**And here we are and ALAKASAM**

**Here we go this is totally awesome.**

**Come on and teach us all that you know**

**Summers over and we're itching to go.**

**Neville**

**I think we're ready for, Albus Dumbledore!**

**All**

**Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh**

"This shall be interesting" Snape murmured as he watched as a man with a purple robe entered the stage, he had a fake white beard.

**Dumbledore**

**I **

**All of you to Hogwarts**

**I welcome all of you to school**

**Did you know that here at Hogwarts **

**We have a hidden swimming pool**

**Welcome, welcome, welcome Hogwarts **

**Welcome hotties nerds and tools**

Harry stared at the actor who was laying his headmaster and smirked as he imagined the real Dumbledore welcoming them like this.

**Now I've got you here at Hogwarts I'd like to go over some rules.**

**My name is Albus Dumbledore,**

**You can call me Dumbledore**

**I suppose you can also call me Albus if ya want a detention**

**I'm just kidding.**

**I'll expel ya if ya call me Albus.**

**All**

**Back to witches and Wizards and magical beasts**

**To goblins and ghosts and magical feasts**

**It's all that I love and it's all that I need **

**At Hogwarts, Hogwarts**

**Back to spells and enchantments, potions and friends**

**To **

**Gryffindor**

**Hufflepuff**

**Raven claw**

**Slytherine**

**It's all that I love and it's all that I need at Hogwarts, Hogwarts**

**Dumbledore **

**I'm sorry whats its name?**

**All**

**Hogwarts, Hogwarst**

**Dumbledore**

**I didn't hear you kids**

**All**

**Hogwarts Hogwarts**

**Harry**

**Man Im glad I'm back.**

"All for the next slide?" Aria offered as shouts of approval followed, frinning she clicked the next slide.

**A/N OMG I hope you all liked it! Please review thank you :P **


	2. Chapter 2

**What if**

**Chapter two**

**Hi everyone thanks for the reviews I have another chapter here, hope you enjoy.**

_The cast are still in their positions from the previous scene with their wands aimed to the ceiling. They then cheer and go sit in their houses._

**Dumbledore**

**Welcome, Welcome to another magical year at Hogwarts and a very special welcome to my favourite student, Mr Harry Potter. **

_Gryffindors cheer_

**He killed Voldemort when he was just a baby he's even got that little lightning scar to prove it.**

Voldemort gave Harry a death glare at being reminded that he had fallen at the hands of a baby, Harry Grinned and high fived Ron.

**And another very special welcome to our newest Gryffindor member Mr, excuse me Ms Ginny Weasly.**

Ginny threw popcorn at the screen in rage, "The nerve of the man!" she screamed while everyone else was laughing.

**Ginny**

**Yeah I'm a girl, and um aren't I supposed to be sorted by the sorting hat?**

**Dumbledore **

**Well um a funny thing happened with the sorting hat, he actually got hitched by another piece of enchanted magical clothing. So he and the scarf of Sexual Preference and aren't going to be back until next year.**

**Basically I've just been putting anyone who looks like a good guy in Gryffindor, and anyone who looks to be a bad guy into Slytherine. The other two can go where ever the hell they want I don't really care.**

**Cedric**

**Hufflepuffs are good finders**

**Dumbledore**

**What the hell is a Hufflepuff?**

Everyone burst out laughing, "Imagine the old man actually saying that Severus" Voldemort cried, in-between laughs. Snape smiled at the ironic thought he had a strange feeling his character would be showing up soon.

**Anyway it is time for me to introduce my very good friend and our own Potions professor, Mr Severus Snape.**

Snape groaned as he saw his character enter, he looked bat like and had an unusual crazy look in his eye.

**Ron**

**Aw man not Snape; I hoped they'd fired that guy.**

**Ginny**

**What's wrong with Professor Snape?**

**Ron**

**Oh nothing, he's just EVIL**

Both Snape and Voldemort glared at Ron, "Would you like to elaborate on why I am evil Mr Weasly?" Snape asked coldly, "Yeah and why being evil is such a bad thing?" Voldy added looking hurt. Ron shrunk back into his chair and looked desperately to Aria for protection, "Just watch the musical guys" she ordered them, as they sat back in their chairs grumbling like young children.

**Harry **

**Aw come on Ron, he's really not that bad**

**Snape**

**Harry Potter… detention**

**Harry**

**What?**

**Snape**

**For speaking out of turn, now before we begin I'm going to give you all your very first pop quiz. **

_Every one groans except for Hermione who looks excited._

**Can anyone tell me what a portkey is?**

_Hermione puts up her hand_

**Yes Ms Granger**

**Hermione**

**A portkey is an enchanted object that when touched one or ones who touch it to anywhere in the globe as decided upon by the enchanter.**

**Snape**

**A very good, now can anyone tell me what foreshadowing is? Yes Miss Granger**

**Hermione**

**Foreshadowing is a dramatic device in which an important part is mentioned earlier on in the story and to return later in a more significant way.**

**Snape **

**Perfect, **

**Ron**

**What was the Portkey one again I missed that one**

**Hermione **

**A portkey is an object that when you touch it, it will transport you anywhere.**

**Snape**

**And remember a Portkey can be any sort of harmless object like a football or a dolphin.**

**Lavender**

**Professor, can a person be a Portkey?  
><strong>**Snape**

**No that's absurd, because then if a person were to touch himself**

_Looks at Ron_

**He would be constantly transported to different places; a person can however become a horcruxe.**

Voldemort stiffened at the mention of horcruxes, "Your character is very funny Severus" he said giving him a death glare to which Severus nodded. Aria sensed the change in the air, so quickly summoned some hot chocolate to mellow the mood.

**Harry**

**What's a horcruxes?**

**Snape**

**I'm not even going to tell you Harry, you'll find out soon enough. **

**Hermione**

**Professor what is the point of this quiz?**

Ron and Harry gasped dramatically, "Oh my God did Hermione Granger just ask the point of a quiz?" Harry asked dramatically. Hermione rolled her eyes, "Well it's a stupid pointless quiz" then turned to Snape, "I'm sorry professor but it is" Snape just glared at her.

**Snape**

**No point in particular, just important information that everyone should know, especially you!**

_Points to a guy in the audience._

**Now moving right along, there are four houses Gryffindor**

_The Gryffindors cheer_

Ron, Hermione and Harry also cheered.

**RavenClaw**

Aria cheered

**Hufflepuff**

**Cedric**

**Find**

**Snape**

**What? And Slytherine**

_Slytherines made a snake and hissed,_

Draco, Voldy and Snape also cheered, (Voldy in parseltounge)

**Traditionally points are given for good behaviour and deducted for rule braking, example ten points from Gryffindor.**

_Gryffindors look annoyed_

**Harry**

**What**

**Snape**

**For Granger's excessive baby fat**

**Ron&Harry**

**Thanks Hermione**

**Snape **

**Traditionally the house with the most points at the end of the year wins the house cup, however this year we're doing things abit differently. Here to introduce you is our new professor; of the Dark arts is Professor Quirril.**

**Harry**

_Clutching head_

**Aw aw aw**

_Professor Quirril enters _

**Quirril**

**The house cup, a time honoured tradition for centauries **

**Draco**

**Go home terrorist!**

The wizards fell on the floor laughing at the comment, Harry even high fived Draco.

**Quirril**

**For centauries the four houses of Hogwarts have competed for the honouring glory of holding the title house champion but where does this competition come from? And what are the roots of the tradition.**

**Hermione**

**The house cup tournament began with the first students of Hogwarts**

**Quirril**

**That was a rhetorical question**

**Dumbledore**

**Granger quit interrupting, twenty points of Gryffindor**

**Ron**

**Thanks Hermione**

**Quirril**

**As I was saying when the tournament first originated, it was one of a completely different sort. One champion from each of the four houses would complete a group of seriously dangerous tasks, challenges. The winner would not win the cup; he would also win eternal glory.**

**Hermione**

**Kind of like a house, no a tri-wizard tournament **

"What year is this set in?" Harry asked confused, Aria shrugged "They mashed all of your years together" she replied.

**Quirril**

**Yes sort of like the tri wizard tournament, except no not like that at all. There are four houses, how can it be the **_**Tri**_** wizard tournament with four teams?**

"Easy, there were four champions when Harry competed" Hermione snapped at the screen, Draco looked at her as if she was crazy. "Granger, they can't hear you" he told her, he received popcorn to the face for his efforts.

**Hermione**

**Er but professor if I were to remember correctly the house tournament was disbanded after one semester when one of the students was killed, during the first task.**

**Quirril**

**Yes it is very dangerous but the awards far weigh the risks**

**Hermione**

**I don't think you heard me, I just said somebody died!**

Gasps came from Ron and Harry, "Hermione arguing with a teacher? Blasphemy!" they cried.

**Dumbledore**

**Hermione Granger shut your ungodly lopsided mouth and quit interrupting! Twenty more points!**

**Ron&Harry**

**Thanks Hermione**

**Dumbledore**

**God, for the cleverest witch of your age you really can be a dumbass sometimes.**

Everyone except Hermione burst out laughing, "Curse you all!" she cried, Voldemort "You kind of can't because of the spell thing Aria but up". She threw him a death glare.

**Ten points to Dumbledore**

**Quirril**

**Yes, yes it will be very dangerous but the winner will be remembered as a winner for ages to come. And as the Professor of the Dark Arts I believe this practical application is exactly what the curriculum needs to…**

**Quirril's turban**

**Achoo**

**Dumbledore**

**Did your turban just sneeze?**

**Quirril**

**What? No**

**Dumbledore**

**I could have sworn I heard a sneeze coming from your direction, but your mouth wasn't moving.**

**Quirril**

**No, that was simply a fart**

_Quirril stumbles towards Harry who starts clutching his head._

**Harry**

**Aw aw aw, oh geez aw**

**Quirril**

**I must be going**

**Quirril's Turban**

**Achoo**

**Quirril**

**I simply farted once more.**

**Dumbledore**

**And on with the newly resurrected house cup, a champion from each house will be selected to compete. So Snape will you do us the honours please.**

_Snape carries a cardboard cut out of a cup forward with a big H on it._

**Snape**

**Yes head master, first from the RavenClaw house, a Miss Cho Chang**

**Cho **

**Oh my God I won I can't believe it ya'll**

**Snape **

**From Hufflepuff, a Mr Cedric Diggory**

**Cedric**

**I don't **_**find **_**this surprising at all**

**Cho**

**Ah perfect now I can spend more time with my beloved boyfriend**

Both real Harry and Musical Harry stared at Cedric with a look of pure hatred.

**Cedric**

**I'm glad as well my darling**

**Snape**

**And next from the Slytherine house, a Draco Malfoy**

_Draco clapped his hands then went over to Harry_

**Draco**

**Ha oh I finally beat you didn't I Potter, what do you think of that huh? I'm the champion this time**

"Draco why are you rolling over my lap?" Harry asked the reddening blonde, Draco scowled "I would never do that in a million years Potter" he spat.

**Dumbledore**

**Draco will you sit down you little shit, champion is just a title.**

**Snape**

**And finally, from the Gryffindor house, oh my isn't this curious the one person in all of Hogwarts I have a well known grudge against is suddenly in a tournament were he very well may lose his life**

"Say it like it is mate" Voldemort said to Snape high fiving him.

**Neville**

**If it's me I'll apologies to my fellow Gryffindors for failing right now **

**Snape **

**Sit down you iatrical bubble, its Harry Potter**

_Gryffindors cheer_

**Ron**

**WHOO WHOO WHOO**

"What are you Weasly a steam train?" Draco asked cattily, Ron glared "At least I don't roll around on the floor weasel!" everyone laughed, "Come on Draco you have to admit Touché to that" Voldemort said laughing, Draco scowled.

**Dumbledore**

**There you are folks the four Hogwarts champions, now I want all of you to start preparing immediately because the first task is in two months and it could be anything. So let's get too it ha-ha.**

_Students leave except from Ron, Hermione and Harry_

**Cho's Posse **

**Cho Chang Cho Chang**

**Draco**

**Malfoy, Malfoy**

Screen blanks

**A/N hey guys sorry I can't write as much tonight, I have loads of homework, please review **


	3. Chapter 3

**What if **

**Chapter three**

**Ron**

**Harry you got this tournament in the bag**

**Harry**

**I dunno man that Cedric Diggory is pretty awesome… Not! He sucks we're totally gonna win!**

_Harry and Ron high five each other_

"You could have shown support like that when it was the real thing mate" Harry said coldly to Ron who looked embarrassed "Sorry mate, at least I didn't buy the badges" Harry shuddered at the remembrance of those awful badges the real Cedric had made.

**Hermione**

**I don't know Harry, **

**Ron**

**Oh my God shut up! Why do you have to reign on everybody's parade?**

**Hermione**

**Because Ron this is dangerous!**

**Harry**

**Dangerous oh come on Hermione how dangerous can it be? Especially for me?**

"You are an arrogant little shit Potter just like you're good for nothing father!" Snape muttered darkly, Aria heard and hit him with a pillow.

**Hermione**

**You're not invincible Harry somebody died in this tournament **

**Harry**

**I'm the boy that lived, not died coming on what's the worst that could happen?**

Harry couldn't help but grin, this was so true though he didn't trust himself to comment especially since Voldemort was sitting on the opposite side of the room glaring at him.

**Hermione**

**I don't know about that Quirril character, first he resurrects some horrible ancient tournament and then he bumps into you and your scar starts to hurt, and you gotta admit there was something really funky about the back of his head.**

**Harry**

**Come on think about it, Professor Quirril is a professor and who hires professors**

**Ron&Harry **

**Dumbledore **

**Harry**

**The smartest most awesomeness factual wizard- beautiful wizard in the whole world, why, why would he hire someone who's trying to hurt me?**

Everyone gives Harry a weird look, Harry shrugged "Not my words though he is awesome!" Voldy snorted, "I'm the smartest wizard in the whole word Potter and don't you forget it!" he said proudly. Harry put his hands together and said "Awkward turtle"

**Hermione**

**What about Snape?**

**Harry**

**What about him?**

**Hermione**

**He's hated you for years and he's hated your parents too Harry everybody knows that.**

"Am I really that obvious?" Snape asked, everyone nodded. Snape looked at harry "FYI I only hate you and your good for nothing father, I happened to love your mother" he said sadly giving death glares at Voldy who held his hands up in protest.

**And he just so happens to pick your name out of the house cup out of hundreds, if not five possible Gryffindors.**

**Harry**

**Yeah what a coincidence we lucked out!**

**Hermione**

**No, no Harry I don't think it's a coincidence, when you defeated Voldemort you made a lot of enemies. Ones you might not even know about.**

**Harry**

**Hang on let me get this straight, you're saying this tournament is just one big ploy to try and kill me?**

"Why does everyone want to kill me?" Harry groaned stuffing popcorn in his mouth, "Maybe because you're a moany brat" Draco suggested getting popcorn to the face.

**Hermione**

**I don't know maybe, anyway I think it's dangerous and I don't think you should do it.**

**Harry**

**Alright Hermione if it means that much to you, I'll drop out.**

**Hermione**

**Oh thank you Harry**

_Hermione runs and hugs Harry_

**Ron**

**Wait WHAT? The house cup? What about all the eternal glory you're gonna win?**

**Harry**

**Hey, eternal glory I already got that.**

Snape, Voldy and Draco both muttered under their breathes "Arrogant little shit!"

**Besides Neville will be a great Champion**

**Ron**

**No, no I don't want slongblottom as my champion**

**Hermione **

**Look all you have to do is, look there's Dumbledore why don't you just tell him you're dropping out**

_(Dumbledore jogs on stage waving)_

**Harry**

**Listen Hermione Dumbledore are really, really tight and I don't want him to think I'm being lazy or disrespectful so could you just, why don't you tell I want to concentrate on school or something alright, hey you got this one, (taps her nose)**

**Hermione**

**Ok**

**Harry**

**Don't worry about it**

_Hermione walks over to Dumbledore_

**Hermione**

**Dumbledore, **

**Dumbledore**

**Yes Granger**

**Hermione**

**Er I need to talk to you for a moment it's about the er house cup tournament, erm first of all I think it's a awful idea and second of all I don't think Harry Potter should compete**

**Dumbledore**

**Granger why do you always have be such a big old stick in the mud huh? Prey tell me why Harry Potter shouldn't compete **

**Hermione**

**Err because, he wants to study**

**Dumbledore**

**Granger, nobody in Hogwarts studies except for you**

Both Hermione and Voldemort glared at the screen, "That's why I got good owls" she muttered. Voldemort nodded in agreement then high fived Hermione "To studying!"

**Hermione**

**Er ok he wants to focus on the OWLS **

**Dumbledore**

**Why couldn't Harry have told me this himself hmm? He thinks I'm cool, we're tight.**

**Hermione**

**Professor I'm a really bad liar, I think it's a ruse set up and I even think Snape might be trying to kill Harry…**

**Dumbledore**

**Severus Snape is one of the kindest bravest gentlest, sexiest men that I have ever met. Severus Snape is as much trying to kill Harry Potter as much as he's trying to kill me huh**

**Snape**

**Ah Professor Dumbledore, I just happened to be in the kitchen and I made you this delicious sandwich.**

_Snape pulls out a cardboard cut out of a sandwich with a pipe bomb in it._

**Dumbledore**

**Why thank you Severus, see Granger how thoughtful **

**Snape**

**Here you are professor, bomb appétit , I mean bon appétit**

_Snape hurried off stage after setting the bomb, a mysterious ticking noise starts to come from it._

**Hermione**

**Er is that thing ticking?**

**Dumbledore**

**It looks licking, finger licking good**

**Hermione**

**Er Professor I don't think you should eat that**

**Dumbledore**

**Why granger ya gotta listen to Snape more often, you might even get a sandwich out of it I don't know. Granger what the hell, Granger what are you doing?**

_Hermione grabs the sandwich and throws it off stage just as it explodes._

"Hermione found the source of the mysterious ticking noise!" Aria exclaimed, everyone gave her a weird look. "Never mind" she said grinning.

**It's all gone exploding my sandwich**

**Hermione**

**I'm sorry sir**

**Dumbledore**

**Hey even if I did believe that Harry Potter was endanger, he has to compete you see that cup**

_Points to the House Cup_

**Hermione**

**Yes**

**Dumbledore**

**It's enchanted, whoever's name comes out of the cup has to compete or the results would be bad.**

**Hermione**

**What do you mean bad?**

**Dumbledore**

**Well try to imagine you're entire life stopping instantaneously and every monticule in your body exploding at the speed of light.**

**Hermione**

**Anionic reversal, (A/N I don't know what she says sorry :/) **

**Dumbledore**

**Yeah so you see he has to compete, and Hermione if it makes you feel any better the last student who died was in Hufflepuff.**

"How is that supposed to make me feel better?" Hermione demanded, Harry shrugged shame Dumbledore's not here to tell you himself"

**So um I'll keep my eyes open, nothing will get past old Dumbledore**

**Hermione**

**Alright**

**Dumbledore**

**Now I'll go make myself another sandwich, though I don't know how it's going to be as good as the last one. The last one ticked.**

_Dumbledore exits_

**Hermione**

**That's because it was a bomb**

_Hermione walks back over to Ron and Harry_

**Harry I'm so sorry I think your gonna have to compete in the House Cup tournament, but don't worry I won't until I find out what the first task will be.**

**Ron**

**And I'll savatarge, (A/N don't know how to spell it sorry :/) all the other champions so you win by default.**

**Harry**

**Aright.**

_Draco enters in a bridal style being carried by Goyle_

"Oh dear Merlin" Draco moaned as everyone was rolling on the floor laughing.

**Draco**

**Well isn't this touching.**

**Ron**

**Oh my God just but out Malfoy**

_**Draco rolls on the floor towards them**_

Draco was watching now threw his fingers, he would trace this StarKidPotter and sue him for making him look like a fool.

**Draco**

**Goyle and I have a bet you know, he says you won't last five minutes in this tournament. I disagree I say you won't last five minutes at Pigfarts!**

**Harry**

**Alright Malfoy what is Pigfarts?**

**Draco**

**Oh never heard of it? Figures famous Potter doesn't know about Pigfarts**

_**Draco rolls onto a bench and rolls off again**_

**Harry**

**Malfoy don't act like you don't want to talk about it, that's like the ninth time you've mentioned Pigfarts- what's Pigfarts?**

**Draco**

**Pigfarts is only the greatest Wizarding School in the Galaxy, it's where I'm being transferred next year.**

"If only" Hermione muttered to Harry and Ron who struggled to keep a straight face.

**Hermione**

**Malfoy I've never even heard of that.**

**Draco**

**That's because Pigfarts is on Mars**

**Harry**

**Look Malfoy we're trying to have a conversation here so can you just leave us alone**

**Draco**

**Oh, oh just act like I'm not even here.**

**Harry**

**So anyway I think we can find out about the first task through Dumbledore-**

**Draco**

**Dumbledore? What an old coot, he's nothing compared to Rumbleroar he's the headmaster at Pigfarts. He's a lion, who can talk.**

**Harry **

**Malfoy if you don't mind we're trying to have a conversation here so it's not like, wait your not even eating why you even in here?**

**Draco**

**I can't help if we can hear everything you say we're the only ones in here **

**Harry**

**Well come on Malfoy get out of here please**

**Draco**

**But where are we suppose to go**

**Harry**

**Er I don't know how bout Pigfarts**

**Draco**

**Ha-ha, now you're just being cute, I can't just go to Pigfarts its on Mars. You need a rocket ship, do you have a rocket ship Potter? You know not all of us inherited enough money to buy out NASA when our parents died **

_**Draco starts rolling onto Harry's lap and then onto the floor**_

"Er Draco If you EVER do that I will report you!" Harry said eyeing Draco as if he was also going to start rolling around, Draco scowled "You wish Potter"

**Look at this Rocket ship Potter, StarKidPotter, moon shoes Potter traversing the Galaxy making intergalactic travels to Pigfarts.**

**Harry**

**Alright this is the most misguided way to make me jealous, I don't care if you make fun of me but bring my parents into this it's a whole other story.**

_**Harry gets up wand drawn, Draco freaks and runs and clings to a bench.**_

**Draco**

**Whoa not so fast Potter, Crabbe, Goyle **

_**Goyle attacks Harry**_

**Goyle**

**BACK OFF NERD**

**Draco**

**Not so tough now are you Potter maybe you should hang out with someone better then that lolly gagging ginger and his mudblood girlfriend!**

"Why do I have a feeling this is not going to end well for you?" Voldy asked Draco who was grateful at least some of his true personality had been shone through the character on stage. Draco shrugged "I don't know" he said praying that he was not going to get punched like that time in third year.

**Hermione**

**Oh that is it Malfoy Jelly legs jinx**

_**Crabbe and Goyle fell to the ground with legs made out of jelly**_

**Draco**

**Come on no fair**

**Goyle**

**Hey no fair our legs are jelly**

_**Hermione points her wand at Draco**_

**Hermione**

**Take it back Malfoy**

**Draco**

**Take what back**

**Hermione**

**Take back what you said about your stupid made up space school.**

**Ron**

**And all that stuff you were saying about Hermione being my girlfriend, that isn't even a little bit true.**

**Hermione**

**And say you're sorry for calling me a you-know-what**

**Draco**

**I'm sorry**

**Hermione**

**And you'll never do it again?**

**Draco**

**I promise**

**Hermione**

**Now next time we tell you to leave us alone you better do it, come on Harry Ron let's get out of here, besides you already ate all my lunch.**

**Harry**

**Thank Hermione**

**Hermione**

**Unjelly-fy**

**Ron**

**That was like the most badass thing I've ever seen, to bad no one was here to see it though it was an outburst of pension aggression like aghr Hermione.**

_**Golden trio exit**_

**Goyle**

**Wow that sucked royal hippogriff, we got beat by a girl who is a nerd! **

**Draco**

**I didn't mean what I said you know, Pigfarts is real. **

_**Touches nose**_

**Am I am I bleeding?**

Goyle runs over and looks at Draco's nose

**Goyle**

**No!**

**Draco**

**I thought maybe just a little, wow I've never been pushed down like that by a girl maybe I shouldn't call her a mud- whatever**

"Your character is such a wimp Malfoy!" Voldemort sneered, Draco hid behind Hermione.

**Goyle**

**I can't believe I couldn't figure out the counter curse was Unjelly-fy**

**Draco**

**Right, I'm not surprised come lets go watch Wizards of Waverly place.**

_**They exit the screen fades.**_

**A/N**

**Hey guys sorry I haven't updated for a while, thanks for all the reviews I really appreciate them please keep reviewing I will try and write the next chapter tomorrow because its Friday, the next scene is one of my favourite scenes and I'll try make Voldy even more funny please tune in thanks **

**Please keep reviewing **


	4. Chapter 4

**What if**

**Chapter four **

A/N hey everyone this is one of my favourite scences I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Draco stared at the screen, "What's wizards of Waverly place?" he asked dumbly. Aria gave him a mysterious smirk, "Wizards of Waverly place is a muggle TV program about three wizards who live in New York" she explained. Draco paled at the fact that his character liked a muggle TV program. "On with the next slide" Snape said, while Aria clicked act one part 5.

**Quirril**

**Fools they're all fools, they think they're safe. They think they're back for another fun year learning shenanigans at Hogwarts, little do they know, little do they know the danger that is lurking under their noses. Or should I say on the back of their heads!**

_**Pulls off turban to reveal Voldemort's head.**_

"Oh Merlin that is such great effect!" Voldemort cried as he stared at his character, everyone stared at him weirdly.

**Voldemort**

_**Makes weird noise, then starts coughing**_

**Can't breath in that dam Turban!**

**Quirril **

**I'm sorry my, lord it's a necessary precaution… for if they knew that you lived… or when Harry Potter destroyed you your soul lived on…**

**Voldemort**

**Yes back when my body was destroyed I was forced to live in the forbidden forest. Eating bugs and mushrooms and erh… unicorn blood.**

"Dude I know you're the definition of evil and everything, but seriously UNICORN BLOOD?" Aria and Hermione cried, Voldy looked scared. "Hey that's so not true I possessed snakes and stuff and as if I would be stupid enough to live in the forbidden forest" he scoffed.

**Quirril**

**Until I found you and let you attach yourself to my soul**

"How can that guy sound so happy about that?" Harry asked disgusted, Voldemort shrugged. "Proberly thought I would use imperio on him if he didn't do it willingly"

**Voldemort**

**Yes nobody should know any of that… Now… Quirril get me some water**

_**Quirril bends over and unscrews a bottle of water and hands it to Voldemort**_

**Now Quirril… Pour it in my mouth**

_**Quirril pours the bottle into Voldemort's mouth and he likes the water**_

Everyone was laughing at this all except Voldemort, Draco and Snape, Draco and Snape because they were Death Eaters and were scared their master would use the Cruciatus curse on them. "Not funny," Voldy sulked.

**Quirril**

**Your plans of infiltrating Hogwarts on the back of my head are going swimmingly my liege.**

**Voldemort**

**Yes, yes I'm done with the water**

_**Quirril screws the lid back on and buts the bottle on a chair**_

**We must not have any more foul ups like tonight in the Great Hall**

**Quirril **

**I'm sorry my lord… you sneezed**

"Oh my God did he just point out YOU did something wrong?" Harry asked in horror, Voldemort was staring also in horror at the screen "The nerve of him, if you hadn't have killed him in your first year I would kill him!" he ranted. Meanwhile everyone else were doing awkward turtles.

**Voldemort**

**I know that… get me some nazilex you swine**

"Did I just admit something was my fault?" Voldy asked in disbelief, everyone nodded. "Right that's it StarKidPotter is going to die, where's my wand" he roared. "Look Voldy, you're not leaving here until the musical is over, and my cat Black Magic is guarding the wands" she said calmly, everyone gave her a weird look. "Your cat is called Black Magic?" Voldy asked sounding interested, Aria rolled her eyes "Didn't choose the name his full name is Black Magic Midnight Silverstream" she said very quickly before pressing play.

_**Quirril gets some of the nazilex and pushes it Voldemort's nose then his own nose.**_

**And wash that Turban, it itches my nose!**

**Quirril**

**Yes my dark king…**

**Voldemort**

**Ok just relax with the dark king ok, I watch you wipe your but daily… you can call me Voldemort, we're there we've reached that point.**

"Dude if you hadn't killed my parents and tried and still trying to kill me, I would actually feel sorry for you" Harry said. Voldemort made a gesture with his fingers that made Ron cover Ginny's eyes.

**Quirril**

**Yes my… Voldemort**

**Voldemort**

**Now Quirril….get us ready for bed… we must be well rested if we wish to kill Potter.**

_**Quirril starts moving the robes onto the chair and puts a pillow on the 'bed'.**_

**Tonight in the great hall he was so close… I could have touched him**

"You see this is why I can't feel sorry for you" Harry mused shaking his head, Voldemort gave him a death glare "As if I need your sympathy _Harold_" he spat. Now it was Harry's turn to glare "Oh that's rich _Tom" _everyone could feel a fight was about to start. "If you two say another word to each other, I will call a muggle to come and torture you! And trust me she's worse than Umbridge!" Aria threatened, both wizards shivered and sat back down.

**Revenge is at my finger tips Quirril… I can taste it, it tastes like…. Cool mint.**

**Quirril**

**That would be the serene Voldemort**

**Voldemort**

**Yes, excellent… well goodnight Quirril**

_**They walk towards the bed and Quirril lies on his back making Voldemort go face first.**_

**Ok , ok I can't do this, you gotta roll over I can't sleep on my tummy.**

**Quirril**

**I always sleep on my back, I have back troubles, it's the only way I'm comfortable**

**Voldemort**

**You turn over RIGHT NOW or I'll eat your pillow… you'll have a dream that you're eating a giant marshmallow, but when you wake up your favourite goose feathered pillow will be missing.**

"Wow that is such a good threat Voldy… I do that anyway" Ron scoffed, however Voldemort couldn't say anything because Aria, with the help of Hermione had casted the silence charm on him.

**Quirril**

**Fine we'll compromise, we'll sleep on our sides**

**Voldemort**

**Ok guess I can do this**

**Quirril**

**Goodnight**

**Voldemort**

**Goodnight Quirril**

_**Voldemort then starts looking at the robes that are lying on a chair.**_

**Hey Quirril…How long have those robes been on that chair?**

**Quirril**

**I think they're from last night, I just put them there for now**

**Voldemort**

**Well are you planning on putting them in a hamper? What's your plan piece?**

**Quirril**

**I figured I would just leave them there for now and just but them away in the morning ok**

**Voldemort**

**Er No, no it's not ok I can't go to sleep knowing there are dirty clothes on a chair… the chair is going to smell like dirty clothes.**

"Sheesh never pictured you as OCD" Ginny muttered amused, Voldemort gave her an offended look "Ginny, and you never wondered why the Chamber of Secrets was so clean?" he asked. "I wouldn't know would I? Your diary was sucking my life out of me!" she accused.

**Quirril**

**Look I promise I'll put them away in the morning**

**Voldemort**

**YOU PUT THEM AWAY RIGHT NOW! I COMAND YOU TO GET UP AND… FOLD THEM AT LEAST…. MAKE IT INTO A NEAT PILE. **

**Quirril**

**Look if we're going to be in a situation together for a while, we're going to have to learn how to live with each other. Now I've been single for all of my life and I have some habits….**

"Doesn't surprise me that he has never had a girlfriend he amount of stuttering he did" Harry muttered, Hermione hit him with a pillow.

**And sometimes I leave laundry around**

**Voldemort**

**Well I believe everything has its place: Muggles have their place, mudbloods have their place AND SO DO YOUR CLOTHES… Namely a Dresser!**

**Quirril**

**Well aren't we an odd couple**

_**stands up with hands on hips**_

**QUIRRELL:  
>You won't sleep on your tummy<br>VOLDEMORT:  
>You won't sleep on your back<br>VOLDEMORT & QUIRRELL:  
>We're quite a kooky couple you'll agree<br>QUIRRELL:  
>We share some hands and fingers<strong>

**VOLDEMORT:  
>And yet the feeling lingers<br>VOLDEMORT & QUIRRELL:  
>We're just about as different as anyone could be<strong>

**VOLDEMORT:  
>You like plotting a garden and I like plotting to kill<br>QUIRRELL:  
>You think that you should rule the world, I think books<br>are a thrill!  
>Sipping tea by the fires swell<br>VOLDEMORT:  
>Pushing people in is fun as well<br>I like folding all my ties  
>QUIRRELL:<br>And you have no friends, hey thats a surprise**

**VOLDEMORT & QUIRRELL:  
>I guess its plain to see<br>when you look at you and me  
>were different<br>different  
>as can be<strong>

**VOLDEMORT:  
>Youre a sissy, a twat a girl! Im the darkest of lords!<br>QUIRRELL:  
>Im the brightest professor here, Ive won several awards<br>( From: . )  
>VOLDEMORT:<br>My new world is about to unfold  
>QUIRRELL:<br>You got beat by a two year old  
>VOLDEMORT:<br>Ill kill him this time through and through  
>QUIRRELL:<br>Or you might just give him another tattoo**

**VOLDEMORT & QUIRRELL:  
>You really must agree<br>when you look at you and me  
>were different<br>different  
>as can-<strong>

**VOLDEMORT:  
>Ill rise again and Ill rule the world<br>But you must help me renew  
>For when our plan succeeds<br>QUIRRELL:  
>Prevails!<br>VOLDEMORT:  
>Part of that world goes to you<strong>

**QUIRRELL:  
>When I rule the world Ill plant flowers<br>VOLDEMORT:  
>When I rule the world Ill have snakes<br>And goblins, and werewolves, a fleet of dementors,and giants, and thestrals, and all my Death Eaters!  
>(QUIRRELL: And Jane Austen novels)<strong>

**VOLDEMORT & QUIRRELL:  
>When I rule the world! Hahahaha<strong>

"Charming, who wants to see what happens next?" Aria asked when everyone recovered from the giggle fits.

**Hey everyone sorry its been so long I hope you enjoyed this chapter please review thank you **


	5. Chapter 5

**What if **

**Chapter five**

**Hey guys sorry I've been forever but I've been having jumpy internet so I couldn't go on YouTube please forgive me.**

_**Harry, Hermione and Neville are on stage, Harry is strumming a guitar while Hermione is working on Harry's potion essay.**_

**Hermione: Harry don't you think you should try and figure out what the first task is gonna be…. You could actually die if you're not ready.**

"Sheesh Granger way to be over dramatic" Draco sneered, Hermione glared at him "Hey he could have died!" she growled glaring at Voldemort.

_**Harry stops playing and looks at Hermione**_

**Harry: What come on? **_**Starts playing the guitar again. **_**I mean can't you just do it for me? Can't you just prepare all my stuff for me? What are you doing now?**

**Hermione: I'm writing your potions essay**

"WHAT?" Hermione screamed as she glared at Harry, Harry had never been so scared (Minus the time he faced the dementors) "It's not me Mione this guy isn't me" he stammered, Hermione sat down still glaring at Harry who was now hiding behind Ron.

**Harry: Oh well do that first because that's due tomorrow…. But after that after that can you prepare the first task for me **_**please? **_**Thank you; you are the best **_taps Hermione's nose_

"Do that to me in real life and I will hurt you so bad you'll be joining Lockhart in St Mungos!" Hermione growled Harry nodded nervously.

**Hermione: Ok**

**Harry: You got it, thanks Hermione**

_**Goes back to strumming his guitar, enter Ginny who is bouncing her wand between her fingers.**_

**Harry: Hey Ginny come here I want to show you something come here**

_**Ginny sits down next to Harry with a star glazed look on her face**_

**Ginny: Hey Harry Potter **

"Seriously? I wasn't that bad!" Ginny squeaked in protest, however everybody gave her a look that said that she had been, Ginny buried her head in a pillow.

**Harry: Listen I wanna play this song I'm working on it for this girl I really, really like I want her to know that she's really special. So I just wanna know what you think, so just for the purpose for now I'm still working out the lyrics, I'll put your name where her name should be… I don't think it will really work out but let me just give it a shot.**

**Your tall and fun and skinny  
>Your really, really pretty<br>Ginny**

**I'm the Mickey to your Minnie  
>Your the Tiger to my Winnie<br>Ginny**

**I wanna take ya to the city  
>Gonna take you out to dinney<br>Ginny  
>Your cuter than a guinnie pig<br>Wanna take you up to Winnipeg  
>That in Canada!<strong>

**Ginny Ginny Ginny Ginny-  
>You know this doesn't work, absolutely not. I dunno how does it make you feel emotionally? <strong>

**Ginny: Wow wowee Harry Potter**

**Harry Potter: Don't ya think I dunno make a girl fall in love with me **

**Ginny: I think it already has **

**Harry: awesome because it's for Cho Chang!**

Harry managed to duck behind professor Dumbledore as both Weasley's threw cushions at him, "If you ever do that to my sister I will kill you!" Ron yelled. Harry turned to Aria who had an amused expression on her face, "Did you bring me here so that my friends would kill me?" he demanded, Aria shook her head "No Harry Potter I brought you here so you could be told the future through a er- very funny maybe slightly inaccurate source." She said in a mysterious voice.

_**Ginny's face falls **_

**Ginny: ** **Oh yeah, she is beautiful**

**Harry: What are you nuts? Beautiful more like superMeganFoxyawseomeHot! She's the most she's the nicest girl I've ever met, she's far more attractive, far more appealing, far more interesting than any girl that I know in my close group of friends. She's just awesome**

_**Continues playing guitar while Ron enters**_

**Ron: Hey Neville**

_**Runs and jumps over a bench and joins Harry, Hermione and Ginny.**_

**(To Hermione and Ginny)**

**Move, move, move**

_**Sits down next to Harry**_

**Hey Harry what's up? I was just hanging back stage with Hagrid when I saw these delivery wizards-**

"What the hell is a delivery Wizard?" Voldemort asked, Dumbledore shrugged "I have no idea Tom, don't forget that this musical was made by muggles" he said his blue eyes sparkling. Voldy huffed, "Don't call me Tom" he growled.

**Bringing giant cages into the dungeon I dunno what that's for….**

**Hermione: Giant cages? I bet whatever's in those cages has something to do with the first task! Harry we have to find out what it is!**

All the Gryffindors stared at Hermione, "Why can't you be more like that Hermione who doesn't mind breaking the rules?" Ron whined. Hermione glared at him "Because Ronald I have a sense of morality and anyway I do things with you and Harry that are against the rules" she said in a hurt voice. "Sorry Hermione" Ron and Harry apologised; Harry couldn't help but notice how cute Hermione's eyes were.

**Harry: Hey guys shut up I'm busy**

_**Pulls a funny face and starts playing a random tune**_

_**Hermione takes the guitar of Harry making Ron and Ginny jump up**_

**Ron and Ginny: No, No, No, No, No! Whoa**

**Hermione: Guys listen this could be a matter of life and death**

**Ron: Well it doesn't matter because it's after hours ok, and we can't leave Gryffindor house we'll proberly get in trouble if we do and even if we do Schlongbottom over there will tell on us.**

**Hermione: Neville won't tell**

**Neville: Oh yes I most certainly will!**

Ron, Hermione and Harry laughed at that remembering their first year when they had snuck out to fight Malfoy and Neville had tried to stop them.

**Ron: So what we gonna do?**

**Hermione: its simple guys…. The cloak**

**Ron: of course…**

**Ron, Harry and Ginny: The cloak**

**Ginny: Wait what cloak?**

_**Ron claps his hands over Ginny's head **_

**Ron: Shut up!**

**Harry: I got a present left to me, oh bye Neville. I got a present left to me at my first year of Hogwarts. It was left for me from my dad. My dead dad my father's dead.**

Everyone, (Minus Snape and Voldy) gave Harry a sympathetic look

**He used to use this himself the invisibility cloak.**

**Ginny: Oh wow, wowee Harry Potter haha you got a real invisibility cloak! Ooh, ooh. Ooh, do you know what I'd do if I had an invisibility cloak?**

**Harry: Oh man I would kick wiener dogs **

**Ron: And I would pretend to be ghost and scare mean people **

"LOL that is a good answer!" Voldy said laughing; everyone gave him a curious look. "What I know text speech you know" he said defensively.

**Hermione: I would use it to avoid ever looking at myself in the mirror**

"Hermione never say that! You're beautiful!" Harry cried, Hermione blushed "Really?" she asked. Harry nodded then looked embarrassed "Er would you like to go out with me?" he asked nervously. Hermione flung her arms around his neck and hugged him "Yes!" she screamed making everyone smile.

**Ginny: Well actually I was gonna say that I would use it to fake my own death and then watch people cry at my funeral.**

**Harry: Ok anyway lets get out of here**

_**They make to leave when Ron pulls Ginny to the side**_

**Ron: Woah woah woah were do you think your going?**

**Ginny: Erm with you guys?**

**Ron: No, no, no way no kid sisters allowed ok**

_**Claps over her head making her scream**_

**Besides there is only enough room under this cloak for two people so er come on Hermione**

_**Hermione hands Ginny the guitar and follows Ron and Harry**_

_**Ginny is left onstage**_

**GINNY:  
>The way his hair falls in his eyes<br>Makes me wonder if he'll  
>Ever see through my disguise<br>And I'm under his spell**

**Everything is falling and I dont know where to land  
>Everyone knows who he is but they dont know who I am<strong>

**Harry, Harry,  
>Why can't you see<br>What youre doing to me**

**I've seen you conquer certain death  
>And even when youre just standing there you take away my breath<br>And maybe someday you'll hear my song  
>And understand that all along<br>Theres something more that I'm trying to say  
>when I say<strong>

**Harry, Harry  
>Why can't you see<br>What you're doing to me**

**What you're doing to me**

"Aw Gin that is so sweet…. But just to be clear he's MINE!" Hermione said giving her best friend a mock glare, Ginny laughed "Haha he's all yours Mione"

_**Ginny is dancing with the guitar pretending that it is Harry **_

"Ok guys that's the end of the clip shall we er watch the next one?" Aria asked stretching her arms, eager replies followed.

**A/N sorry I couldn't write much I'm really tired and I will try to write some more soon please review thanks to those who already have **


	6. Chapter 6

**What if **

**Chapter5**

_**Quirril enters**_

**Quirril: Master, Master the shipping for the first task have just arrived**

**Voldemort: Yes I know Quirril I hear everything you hear!**

"Haha dumbass" Voldy and Harry commented

_**Quirril takes of the turban**_

**Quirril: Isn't it wonderful Master that Harry Potter's name was drawn from the cup and soon he will be ours.**

**Voldemort: Yes… It's really happening isn't it Quirril? You know with the plan going so well I feel that maybe we should…. Celebrate! What do you say Quirril how bout we go out I hear its karaoke night down at the Hogs Head.**

Everyone was staring at Voldemort strangely, "I thought you murdered innocent muggles for fun and celebration?" Hermione asked with a hint of disgust in her voice. Voldemort nodded "So did I…"

**Quirril: I don't know I have all these papers that I need to grade and I have been paying so much attention to this revenge plan that I'm really behind.**

**Voldemort: Ah come on Quirril, you've been working hard all year you deserve a night off.**

"Aw you sound like an old married couple" Ginny cooed receiving a death glare from Voldy.

**Quirril: what about the papers?**

**Voldemort: Oh just give em all B- and be done with it**

**Quirril: Now that's evil!**

"Yeah because we all care about what grade we get!" Ron muttered, Hermione glared at him, "Well excuse me Ronald Weasley that some of us enjoy working hard and receiving a good mark at the end of it" she growled. Ron shrugged "Hermione you heard what Dumbledore said in the musical _nobody_ _studies at Hogwarts apart from you!_" Both Voldy and Hermione pouted at this "Not true!" they both said at the same time before staring at each other strangely.

**Voldemort: Yeah thanks I am the Dark Lord…. Come on just a few drinks hey we'll try to pick up some chicks!**

"Now that is a mental image I don't want" Harry grimaced, Voldy pouted "HEY, I wasn't always like this I used to be sexy as hell!" he said grinning. Everyone close to Voldemort edged away slowly.

**Quirril: I wouldn't know what to say I'm no good at that **

"Haha looser!" Draco shouted randomly.

**Voldemort: Come on it'll be fun! You just move your lips and I'll do the talking.**

_**Quirril looks like he really doesn't want to**_

**Quirril, man, listen, I may just be a parasite on the back of your head that is literally devouring your soul every time you take a breath. But I can see that your too good a guy not to have a bit of fun once in a while, you deserve this!**

**Quirril: Well if you put it that way yeah let's just go wild tonight!**

_**Voldy makes a weird noise and shakes his head**_

**Voldemort: Put on a fresh pair of wizard shorts and grab your tunic, Quirril we are going to get you laid!**

All the teenagers looked disgusted at the screen while Voldy and Snape smirked.

**Seriously man back when I had a body I had a mad game with the bitches…. Just ask Bellatrix Lestrange.**

Draco threw popcorn at Voldy "That's my Aunt you snake faced bugger!" he yelled, Voldemort turned round his red snake like eyes narrowed making Draco back down in terror. "FYI young Draco, dear Bella wanted it" he said evilly before turning back to the screen.

_**The screen blacks out and then shows Harry, Hermione and Ron under the invisibility cloak.**_

**Ron: this cloak isn't as big as it used to be…**

**Hermione: Shhhh someone's coming**

_**Enter Draco, Crabbe and Goyle**_

**Draco: Did you just hear something?**

**Goyle: No. Only quiet maybe a raindrop**

**Draco: No matter, tell me Goyle who do you think the most ugliest girl in the school is**

**Goyle: er Buckbeak for sure**

"Hey Buckbeak isn't even a girl plus he's stunning!" the golden trio cried

**Draco: Crabbe?**

**Crabbe: Winky the house elf**

Hermione stared outraged at the screen, Harry could sense warning signals radiating from his girlfriend, "Mione it isn't real" he whispered in her ear before lightly kissing her. Hermione smiled as she snuggled up to him

**Draco: Good one, sure… do you know who I think is the ugliest girl in school? That Hermione Granger!**

"Take that back you foul ferret!" Harry growled, Draco smirked "No I agree with my on screen self Mudblood Granger is the ugliest girl in school!" he sang happily. Harry hit him, Aria leapt to the scene "Whoa, whoa stop fighting now!" she growled something scary and familiar passed through her eyes making Harry sit down and cuddle Hermione.

**Do you know what I would give on a scale of one to ten 1 being ugly and 10 being pretty…? I'd give her an 8**

Everyone stared at the screen in a stunned silence, "Well that was unexpected" Ginny mused.

**An 8.5 or maybe a 9… not, not over a 9.8 there is always room for improvement not everyone's perfect… like me… that is why I am holding out for a 10… because I'm worth it!**

The room erupted into laughter, "Haha yeah right Draco!" Snape howled as he and Voldy clung to each other for support.

**Come on let's go… **

_**Draco, Crabbe and Goyle exit, **_

**Harry: What a bunch of jerks!**

**Hermione: Alright forget them now where did you say you saw those cages being delivered **

**Ron: I think they were being delivered to the auditorium so they should be at the end of this hall way and to the left,**

_**The trio pretend to walk**_

**Look!**

**Hermione: A goat?**

**Harry: a goat ah man I have to fight a goat? I dunno if I can do that morally.**

_**Enter Snape and Dumbledore**_

**Snape: And the goats have all been sent to feeding time Headmaster**

**Dumbledore: Feeding time? Dragons don't want to be fed they want to hunt!**

**Harry: Did he just say dragons?**

**Snape: Did you just say did he just say dragons?  
>Dumbledore: I must have because anyone else hiding in this room would have known to have shut up Potter!<strong>

"You know there were times when I actually thought Dumbledore could see through the cloak" Harry mused

**Snape: Headmaster so you think that it is wise to have children fighting dragons? **

**Dumbledore: Oh Snape I don't think it's wise to do anything anymore like here I am alive and well today and I could be killed by you tomorrow**

Snape, Voldemort and Draco paled, "I think he's onto us" Voldy whispered quietly.

**Snape: Why that's absurd… **

**Dumbledore: Severus lets go to bed have you ever seen m room… I've got some kickin posters on my wall.**

_**Snape and Dumbledore walk towards the trio who are still hidden under the cloak, then when they reach them they yawn and their arms go over.**_

**Snape: Well I am rather tired**

_**They then exit…. Harry throws of the cloak**_

**Harry: Man I have to fight a dragon this is bogus! How can I fight a dragon I'm just a little kid**

"Question how old am I in this?" Harry asked Aria who was playing with her hair, "Oh I think you're twelve" she said dreamily, Harry was oddly reminded of Luna.

**Ron: alright maybe it won't be that bad Harry Maybe, maybe you'll just have to fight Mushu from Mulan**

Everyone turned to Hermione and Aria "Muggle movie" they explained.

**I dunno maybe like Puff the magic Dragon or something **

**Hermione: Ron this is Serious ok, Harry could die! Look there is still time to figure out a plan. **

**Harry: Ok we should proberly get back to the common room, wait where's the invisibility cloak?**

**Ron: Oh I threw it over on that magically walking chair…. Oh crap!**

"Ron if you ever do that I will hex you to Pigfarts!" Harry threatened, Ron nodded.

**Harry: that's gonna be an issue **

**Ron: Yep**

_**Screen fades.**_

_**A/N please review and thank you to all you guys who already have **_


	7. Chapter 7

**What if**

**Chapter 6**

Suddenly realisation dawned on Harry, "Hey Professor Dumbledore when did you get here?" he asked. Dumbledore's blue eyes twinkled, "About three scenes ago, I was late so I just slipped in unnoticed" he said, Harry nodded. Meanwhile Voldemort was glaring at Dumbledore who simply said "By the looks you are giving me Tom I surmise you want a Lemon drop?" Voldemort glared at him before turning back to the screen.

_**Oriental music starts to play and Snape is onstage alone**_

**Snape: the Hogwarts champions will now enter the champion's tent where they will be in preparation. **_**Snape exits with his cloak in both hands.**_

_**Enter Harry holding a bag with food in**_

**Harry: Ah man I can't believe we have to skip lunch period for this stupid task.**

"Is all you and Ron ever think about food?" Hermione and Ginny asked, both boys shrugged they liked food. End of story.

_**Enter flustered Hermione**_

**Hermione: Hey Harry, today's they day, the day you fight the dragon! Now did you read those notes I did for you on dragons?  
>Harry: no<strong>

Hermione threw Harry a terrifying glare, "Why are you never prepared!" she demanded, Voldemort laughed quietly at the sight of his arch nemesis.

**Hermione: what why not?**

**Harry: you're kidding me they were so boring**

**Hermione: so you didn't read them you did prepare at all your not prepared at all?**

Ron and Harry looked at each other before shouting "HERMIONE RAGE EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!"

**Harry: Well no, at least I have my wand**_** checks pockets**_

_**Hermione hands him his wand**_

**Hermione: here**

**Harry: ahh cool, you're the best, **_**taps nose again**_

"How did you get out of that alive?" Ron asked Harry shrugged though he could feel the seething coming from Hermione.

**Hermione: Harry please don't die today**

"Don't worry Mione I'm pretty hard to kill right Voldy?" he asked the angry snaked face dark lord. "Cocky little shit!" he growled.

**I don't wanna see my best friend getting eaten by a dragon! **_**Hermione hugs Harry**_

"Ahhhhh" came the sound over everyone in the room making Harry and Hermione blush.

**Harry: Relax ok, save the tears for my funeral**

"You know Potter that could be arranged the funeral bit" Voldemort said venomously, Dumbledore gave him a look "Now, now Tom play nice"

_**Enter Cedric and Draco**_

**Cedric: so tell me more about this Pigfarts? I **_**find **_**it to be very interesting  
>Draco: well while you're there you have to wear your spacesuit at all times because there is no atmosphere on Mars, so if a single docking Baydock opens you'll proberly die.<strong>

**Cedric: **_**smiling **_**how dreadful**

"What do think he's on?" Ron whispered to Harry, Harry shrugged "Maybe a happy pill because Cedric wouldn't be happy about somebody dying!"

**Draco: but the good news is if you're a good enough student, you get to ride on Rumbleroar's back**

**Cedric: and he's the headmaster who's a lion?**

**Draco: who can talk**

**Cedric: oooh, oh hello Harry how are you feeling today?**

**Harry: Hey Cedric trying to stay positive **

"Ooooh I know that look you want to murder him!" Voldy said happily, Harry threw him a death glare which shut him up.

**Cedric: well good I'm happy to **_**find**_** you in good spirits, Miss Granger **

**Hermione: hello**

**Cho: Sweetie pie**

**Cedric: My Darling, **_**kiss on both cheeks **_**was that a kiss good luck?**

**Cho: No that was for being so cotton pickin cute, this one is for good luck **_**kisses him again**_

**Harry: I hate that guy**

"Harry's jealous, Harry's jealous, Harry's jealous" sang Ron, Draco, Voldy, Snape and Dumbledore.

**Hermione: don't listen to them Harry you're gonna be great.**

_**Enter Dumbledore singing**_

**Dumbledore: Oh God Miss Granger I thought Boggart I'm terrified of those!**

Hermione glared at Dumbledore who hid behind Snape, "Albus that is implying that you are terrified of Miss Granger here" he said laughing. "Uncle Sev who in their right mind wouldn't be!"Draco said nervously as the glare was aimed his way.

**And what the hell are you doing in the champion's tent? Get out here ten more points!**

_**Hermione sighs as she leaves **_

**Harry: thanks Hermione**

**Dumbledore (Singing voice) are you kids ready to fight a dragon? Of course you're not your just children what the hell am I thinking.**

"Your proberly not" muttered Snap

**But outside of this tent are thousands upon thousands of screaming fans, they are either gonna be screaming for you… or the dragon. Either way they are gonna be making some kind of noise! So in order for the selection process to be fair I am going to randomly select a cardboard cut out sized version of the dragon you will be fighting. For you Cedric, Puff the Magic Dragon**

"WHAT! THAT ISNT FAIR!" raged Harry as Hermione tried to sooth him

**Figment the imaginary dragon **_**passes it to Cho, then to Draco **_**thee reluctant dragon. And for you Potter the Hungarian Horntail the most terrifying thing you'll ever see in your whole life!**

"NO FUCKING WAY IS THAT FAIR I GET THE FUCKING REAL DRAGON AND THEY JUST GET PANSY DRAGONS MADE BY MUGGLES!" Harry yelled, everyone was shocked by his use of language, "Moving on" Aria said swiftly

_**Harry's freaking out, (A/N can you blame him?) **_

**Dumbledore: I don't want any complaints **

**Harry: hold on a second hold on a second I don't… this is terrifying those are the cutest things I've ever seen.**

**Dumbledore: **_**picks up Cho's dragon **_**this thing is terrifying …. Use your imagination**

"Oh yes use your imagination Harry" Draco drawled, Ginny threw popcorn at him

**Disaperate **

_**Enter Ron once again eating **_

**Ron: God these cut outs kind of suck all these Dragons are whipped, Accio dumblesnuff (A/N ?) **_**places the chocolate into his mouth**_

"Stupid muggle" Draco and Voldemort growled

**I mean look at that one… **_**looks at Harry's **_**Oh My God monster! Is that yours?**

**Harry: yeah**

**Ron: oh my god its awesome let me look… oh my god this thing is terrifying I hope the real thing is smaller rrrrr ferocious what you gonna do**

"Smooth Ron" Harry joked

**Harry: I dunno I'm not cut out for this **

_**Enter Hermione**_

**Hermione: Ron you can't be in here this is the Champion's tent**

_**Snape comes up behind them like the Grim Reaper**_

**Snape: Miss Granger…what the devil are you doing in the champion's tent? Ten points from Gryffindor!**

"Thanks Hermione" said Ron and Harry

**Ron&Harry: thanks Hermione**

**Ron: hey good luck good buddy hi Snape **_**waves at Snape**_

**Snape: Hi**

"Like I would say hi to a student, I have a reputation to uphold!" Snape drawled

_**Ron and Hermione exit**_

**Snape: Cedric Diggory, now's your chance to face your dragon….**

**Cedric: alright fellas wish me luck **

**Cho: I believe in you**

**Cedric: that's all I needed to hear**

_**Cedric leaves**_

**Harry: hey Malfoy tell you what if you switch Dragons with me I'll give you the opportunity to switch dragons with me.**

"Like I'll agree to that Scar head" Draco spat venomously

**Draco: um let me think about it….. No**

**Harry: come on I'll give you my gushers, **

**Draco: oh no, no I have a fruit by the foot**

"What are they going on about?" Ginny asked Hermione, Hermione shrugged "I'm guessing American sweets as it's an American musical"

_**Snape creeps in**_

**Snape: Miss Cho Chang…. Your Dragon awaits**

**Cho: well I don't **_**imagine **_**this will be very hard**

**Snape: then I **_**imagine**_** it will be**

_**Both exit the stage laughing**_

**Harry: Malfoy come on, I'll throw my teddy grams with the gushers you can make a little gusher teddy gram sandwich (A/N I apologise if I'm saying these wrong I'm British so I have no idea what these sweets are) **

_**Draco looks into Harry's bag and then says in a really bad London accent**_

**Draco: alright you throw in that pack of bugals and you have yourself a deal**

_**Harry looks like a cross between and angry and constipated**_

**Harry: Absolutely not**

"Aw poor wittle Potter!" Malfoy taunted as Harry punched him, "Oi no fighting!" Aria yelled angrily.

_**Snape comes swooping in **_

**Snape: Draco Malfoy, your turn**

_**Draco walks off with a smug look on his face**_

"Smug little git!" Harry growled

**Harry; Professor Snape is there any way I could I dunno forfeit or switch dragons maybe just take a day of **_**Snape is squirting Harry with ketchup **_**what are you doing?**

**Snape: I'm protecting you Potter**

"Aww you do care" Harry said as he hugged Snape, "Potter get of me right now or I'll give you detention for the rest of your life!"

**Welsh greenbacks can't stand Heinz Tomato ketchup!**

**Harry: But I'm not fighting a Welsh Greenback I'm fighting Hungarian Horntail**

_**Snape looks very happy**_

**Snape: Oh silly me Heinz tomato ketchup is what horntails like best of all**

"Why do I get the feeling you did that on purpose professor?" Hermione asked the bat like teacher. "Because it's something he'd do" snorted Ron

_**Snape laughs and drags Harry off stage**_

**Come on Potter**

_**The scene changes to what appears to be an arena**_

**Dumbledore: and now here's Harry Potter fighting the Hungarian Horntail the most terrifying thing you'll ever see in your whole life!**

_**Music changes**_

**Be noted that this particular dragon has not been fed in two years **

**Hermione; you can do it Harry!**

_**Harry is walking around the stage nervously**_

**Hermione: stay positive you can do this!**

_**Behind Harry the dragon emerges and takes Harry in its mouth**_

"Oh yeah because that's real" Draco said pouting who would pay to see Harry Potter eaten by a dragon

**Harry: Accio guitar!**

"What's that gonna do?" Hermione asked, Harry shrugged

_**Hey dragon  
>You dont gotta do this<br>Lets reevaluate our options  
>The way our whole consumptions<br>Cuz really we dont wanna go through this**_

_**Im really mot that special  
>The boy who lived is only flesh and bones<br>The truth is in the end  
>Im pretty useless without friends<br>In fact Im alone  
>Just like mow<strong>_

_**Anyhow, I spend my time at school  
>Trying to be this cool guy<br>Who never even asked for it  
>Still dont know any spells<br>But still manage to do well  
>But theres only someone that can last for it<strong>_

_**Im livin off the glory  
>Of a stupid childrens story<br>That I, had nothing to do with  
>Just sat there and got lucky<br>So, level with me buddy**_

_**I cant defeat you  
>So please dont eat me<br>All I can do  
>Is sing a song for you<strong>_

_**La la la la laaa**_

_**Dragon:  
>Wah wah wah wah wah<strong>_

_**Harry:  
>La la la la laaa<strong>_

_**Dragon:  
>Wah wah wah wah wah<strong>_

_**Harry:  
>La la la la laaa<br>Thats right dragon**_

_**You never asked to be a dragon  
>I never asked to be a champion<br>We just jumped on the bandwagon  
>But all we need in guitar jamming<strong>_

_**So, La la la la laaa**_

_**Dragon:  
>Wah wah wah wah wah<strong>_

_**Harry:  
>La la la la laa<br>Good night dragon  
><strong>_**  
>I BEAT THE DRAGON!<strong>

"You sang to it? You bloody sang to it even when Id proberly spent hours on those bloody notes all you did was bloody sing!" Hermione raged, "Mione darling that's not really me" Harry whimpered

_**Scene fades**_

**A/N thank you to all the wonderful people who have reviewed and added this to their favourite story list, I'll try and update soon please keep reviewing thank you. Also I felt bad about Ginny so I want you guys to review who she should end up with I was thinking maybe Draco, or Neville but I'd like to know what you guys think :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**What if**

**Chapter 7**

**A/N hello everybody thanks for reviewing, I will point right now that the pairings in this story are **_**MY**_** choice, and because it's **_**MY**_** story I will put Harry and Hermione together. I know that Hermione is with Ron, and Harry with Ginny, but I don't like that pairing so have changed it**

_**The screen fades and the spotlight is on Snape holding a reef.**_

**Snape: Attention all Hogwarts students, tonight's our annual Yule Ball, so please remember to pick up your annual Yule Ball Reef. And give it to that special someone….**

"Aww Snapey, I'm so touched!" Harry cooed making everyone except Snape burst into laughter, "Shut up Potter!" he snarled.

_**Lights come on and enter Ginny smiling**_

**Ahhhhh Ginger! **_**Throws the reef and runs of stage**_

The Weasleys glared at him, "Voldy can I ask you something?" Aria asked, Voldy nodded, "Were you originally Ginger?" Voldemort looked offended, "No why?" he snapped, "Well I watched this muggle show called South Park and it said Ginger's don't have souls. And my dad said you had no soul so I thought you were Ginger" She said, Harry, Hermione, Ron and Dumbledore tried very hard not to laugh. "Who is your father and how does he know I don't have a soul?" Voldemort asked curiously. Aria tapped her nose, "Spoilers!" she cried before clicking play.

_**Everyone is starting to come back on stage, Harry walks past Ginny.**_

**Ginny: Hey Harry Potter, **

_**Harry looks awkward **_

**Harry: Hey Ginny**

_**Ginny is blocking Harry's way**_

**Ginny: fancy seeing you here**

**Harry: Well it's the Cafeteria, so yeah**

_**Ginny looks nervous**_

**Ginny: So erm the Yule Ball is coming up-**

**Harry: Yeah I know it is**

"Harry Potter did you just interrupt me?" Ginny demanded while Harry hid behind Hermione. He was however, saved from her bat bogey hex by a blinding bright light. When the light had cleared there stood Bellatrix LeStrange, Neville Longbottom, Cho Chang and Lavender Brown. Neville glared at Bellatrix, "YOU!" he cried trying to lunge at her, however Ron and Harry held him back. "Not worth it mate" Harry muttered. Cho saw Harry and Hermione cuddled up and pouted sulkily. Bellatrix who had now found Voldemort asked curiously "What are we doing here my Lord?" Neville who had just spotted Voldemort for the first time gasped, "Oh My Merlin Harry, its Voldemort!" Harry got up from the loveseat and put a calming hand on Neville's shoulder, "Chill Nev, Voldy can't hurt us while we're watching the musical" he explained. Lavender looked confused, "What's a musical?" she asked. Hermione quickly explained and then filled them in on what they had missed.

Bellatrix being both observant and nosy noticed Aria, who was sitting awkwardly on the couch, "Who are you?" She demanded.

"My name is Arianna Lily-" however she was cut off by yet another blinding light and there stood an older looking boy with messy black hair and brown eyes. "Aria don't you dare tell them who we are! Mum and Dad will kill us!" he said jumping at his little sister. Aria pouted, "This is my older brother Jamie" she said. Jamie did a little bow, "Nice to meet you" he addressed the room. "We should proberly continue watching" Ron suggested who was now curled up with Lavender. Hermione pressed play.

**Ginny: Were you thinking of going with anyone?**

**Harry: I was… I was just waiting for the right time to ask somebody, but I think that time is about now so if you've got something to say just get it out.**

"Why do I have a feeling I am going to get hurt in a minute?" Ginny asked, Hermione gave her a sad smile "Because Harry is a jerk in this" Harry pouted. Hermione kissed him on the cheek, "But in real life he is the sweetest guy you will ever meet!" Draco, Bellatrix, Snape and Voldemort mimed throwing up.

_**Ginny squeals and pushes the reef to Harry who takes it.**_

**Harry: Oh is this for me? **

"No of course not it's for your imaginary friend!" Bellatrix scoffed, "Bellatrix you are hardly one to talk," Snape said. Bellatrix glared at him, "Galileo is not imaginary!" she cried, weird looks were passed around. Voldemort moved slightly away from her.

**How did you know I needed a reef so I could ask Cho Chang, you're the best!**

Cho looked smug, while Hermione and Ginny scowled.

_**Ginny looks crestfallen**_

**Ginny: oh Harry Potter, just you FORGET it!**

_**Runs off stage crying Harry waves.**_

**Harry: Alright I will!**

All the girls in the room shook their heads and muttered "Men!"

**Cool! **_**Walks over to Cho, **_**Hey Cho Chang listen**

_**Cho stands up**_

**I know the Yule ball is coming up and I was wondering if you maybe wanted to go with me**

_I wish I had waited until Harry had asked me, _Cho thought angrily.

**But just in case you're on the fence about it, you should know I play guitar, and I broken that Dragon's heart with it so I thought I'd conquer yours.**

**HARRY:  
>You're tall and fun and pretty<br>You're really, really skinny  
>Cho Chang<strong>

**I'm the Mickey to your Minnie  
>You're the Tigger to my Winnie<br>Cho Chang**

**You're cuter than a guinea pig  
>Wanna take you up to Winnipeg<br>That's in Canada!**

**Cho Cho Cho Cho China  
>Ching Chong Cho Chang<strong>

**Whatever, **

**Cho: My oh Harry Potter, bless your heart. But I'm gonna have to say no, **

"BURN!" all the males in the room shouted while Harry pouted, Hermione wrapped her arms around him and kissed him while Ginny and Cho glared.

**Young strapping boy Cedric Diggory already asked me and I'm already going with him. **_**Hands him back the reef. **_**Sorry, **_**turns to her friends **_**come on girls lets go show Moaning Myrtle our Ball Gowns and mock her because she can't go.**

"CHO!" was the general exclaim from around the room, (minus Bella, Voldy and Draco) Cho blushed.

_**Harry is left onstage alone, enter Ron**_

**Ron: Hey good buddy how you doin?**

**Harry: Ok, **

**Ron: is that a Yule Ball reef?**

**Harry: yeah**

**Ron: (In a really cool voice) who ya gonna ask?**

**Harry: Well I asked Cho Chang but she turned me down for Cedric Stupery **

**Ron: Oh my God really they are going together that is so great I love them so they are so cute couple**

"Ron you traitor!" Harry cried faking tears, "I'm sorry man, what can I do to make it up to you?" Ron asked grinning. Harry thought for a moment before saying, "You can do my homework for the rest of the week!" Ron pouted. Hermione rolled her eyes "Harry you can't do that!" she cried, Harry gave her a confused look "Why?" he asked. Hermione smirked, "Because Ron will get it all wrong!" Everyone laughed except Ron who Pouted and stuffed his face with popcorn.

**Harry: No**

**Ron: I mean I hate them I hate them so much! Oh my God he pisses me off. Argh man that sucks dude, I don't know why she turned you down your like the coolest guy in school!**

Harry grinned at Ron, "Thanks mate" he said, Ron also grinned and said "Anytime"

**Harry: I dunno I don't get it I play guitar, I'm Harry Potter I'm awesome!**

"Someone is a bit full of themselves eh Potter?" Bellatrix sang. Harry glared at her while Jamie and Aria laughed. "What's funny?" Hermione asked, Aria was about to spill however Jamie covered her mouth, "Nothing, nothing" he said before glaring at his sister.

**Ron: Do you want to taste this? **_**Hands him a crisp packet**_

**Harry: Yeah…. You know, I don't get it man, I guess I'll just go Stag no**

**Ron: I'll proberly go Stag too, the only two girls who I know who don't have dates are Ginny **_**he and Harry do the thumbs down sig and make a farting noise**_

Ginny looked offended, "Correction I went with Neville!" she said glaring at her older brother who was hiding behind Lavender.

**And Hermione**

**Harry: Oh my God**

"And what is wrong with me Harry James Potter?" Hermione demanded, her brown eyes flaming, "Nothing sweetie nothing" Harry said trembling.

_**Harry and Ron did the farting thing again**_

"You'll pay for that Harry James Potter and Ron Billius Weasley!" both and Hermione and Ginny screamed, Aria looked fascinated. "Can I help with the murder?" she asked looking excited. Everyone looked at her strangely, "Hey Aria you can come over to the Dark side we have cookies, literally!" Voldy called. Aria grinned and went over to where Draco, Snape, Voldy and Bellatrix were sitting and opened a packet of cookies.

**Ron: I'm not going with my stupid sister**

Ginny glared

**Harry: And I think of Hermione as a sister**

"Awkward!" Jamie sang. Everyone looked at him weirdly, "Well Harry is dating Hermione now isn't he? So if he thinks of her like a sister it's awkward" he explained. Everyone nodded.

**So that's out**

**Ron: We are in such a puzzle**

_**Enter Neville**_

"Oh look Nev it's you!" Ginny cooed, Neville's draw dropped, "No freakin way is that supposed to be me!" he cried while everyone else laughed.

**Neville: Oh look at these two strapping young gentlemen **

**Harry&Ron: hey Neville**

**Harry: Hey Neville, want this Yule Ball Reef?**

**Neville: Yeah if you're willing to part with it, I will take this reef**

**Harry: Hey Ron lets go hang with Hagrid maybe he can teach us how to dance and we can get our dress robes.**

**Ron: Well that could only lead to disaster and hilarity **

**Harry: let's go**

**Ron: I feel bad about Hermione because she is so butt ugly**

"TAKE THAT BACK ABOUT MY GIRLFRIEND RON!" Harry shouted, Ron mumbled an apology

_**Ron and Harry exit leaving Neville alone onstage**_

_**Enter Goyle**_

**Goyle: Give that plant nerd**

_**Neville runs off**_

"Hey Jamie do you remember the behind the scenes clip we watched when the guy who plays Goyle kept going Crucio instead of Indian burn hex?" Aria asked, Jamie shook his head, "Oh it must have been Al who watched it with me" she muttered grinning. "Can you perform the Cruciatus?" Bella asked, Aria nodded, mum and dad gets really mad when I did it on my little brother Al" she said as she and Bella shared a knowing look. Hermione looked disgusted, "As they should seeing as its _illegal!_" she shrieked, Jamie and Aria shared a look.

**Oh Goyle rules!**

Everyone burst out laughing

**Draco: So anyway it was reluctant enough at first, but I lured it out of its cave with an upside down face lassoed it with my fruit by the foot and beheaded it with a quick slicing charm. Bloody fool.**

"Oh my Merlin, Draco is that you!" Bella choked out, Draco nodded ashamed that his favourite Aunt could see him like this, "Wait till I tell Cissy!" Draco paled.

**Goyle? What are you doing with that reef? Are you going to ask someone to the Yule ball? **

_**Goyle drops the reef**_

**Goyle: No, dancing is for nerds**

**Crabbe: And pretty girls**

**Draco: That's right, you know the last girl I would ask to the Yule Ball would be that Hermione Granger…**

"Good boy Draco, we can't have you mixing with mudbloods" Bellatrix said proudly, "Mrs LeStrange I will only ask you once not to use that kind of language in this room" Dumbledore said politely, Bellatrix was about to retort however Aria whispered something in her ear that made her smirk. _Oh no_ Jamie thought.

**Not even if we were the last people on Earth and she looked absolutely stunning in her ball gown, so every time I looked at her I got butterflies in my tummy.**

"Draco go sit over there!" Bellatrix cried, pointing to where Harry, Hermione, Ron, Cho, Lavender, Dumbledore and Jamie were sitting. Draco huffed and went to join the 'Light' side. "Welcome to the good side, we have lemon drops" Dumbledore said cheerfully, Draco groaned. _Kill me now! _He thought.

**Not even then… you know they don't even have dances at Pigfarts**

"What's Pigfarts?" all the new comers asked, "Please don't ask" Draco begged.

**All the noise would disturb Rumbleroar's slumbering cubs.**

**Goyle: Dancing is for pansies**

_**Draco turns to a girl practising with her wand**_

**Draco: Hey you there what's your name?**

**Pansy: Pansy**

"LOL so ironic!" Aria laughed

**Draco: perfect! You are going to the Yule Ball with me, you see that Dragon? It was reluctant enough at first but I lured it out of its cave **

_**Stage clears**_

**Quirril: Decorating crew, just the decorating crew coming threw**

"Is that Quirril?" Bella asked Voldy who nodded.

**Last minute decorations **

_**Puts down a bowl and a ladle, then pulls of the turban**_

**My Lord the Yule Ball has finally arrived and I've brought the key**

**Voldemort: Yes I know Quirrel I hear everything you hear!**

"Hehe dumbass"

**Quirrel: I'm sorry, **

**Voldemort: No I'm sorry,**

"No frickin way did Voldemort just apologise!" came the general shout in the room, Bellatrix jumped up and started feeling his head to see if he was ill. However, he swotted her away.

**I shouldn't have snapped…. I'm just nervous that's all so….**

**Quirrel: Why?**

**Voldemort: I don't wanna talk about it its fine**

"Aw does ickle Tommy not wanna tawk about his wickle feelings?" Harry mocked, all the people in the 'Dark corner' glared at him including Aria.

**Quirrel: Hey it's just me**

"Yes just you, if you ever want to talk to someone _worthy _to talk to My Lord you know where to find me" Bellatrix said batting her eye lashes, Voldemort leaned over to Snape, "Yes I know where to find her if I want to be bored out my mind" Snape struggled not to laugh. Bellatrix glared "What did you say?" she demanded, "Nothing honey, nothing" Voldemort soothed her.

**You can tell me anything, you know that**

**Voldemort: Yeah, yeah, yeah, your right your right, I'm just nervous because we've been planning this night for so long and I want everything to go perfectly you know**

**Quirrel: Don't worry, we've mapped out everything we've even anticipated every little problem and constipated for it. We've even prepared what you're gonna say to Potter**

"Aww I'm so happy to see that you planned what you we're gonna say to me" Harry mocked, everyone rolled their eyes. "Hey Potter?" Draco said, "Yeah Malfoy?" he said. "Shut up!"

**When you see him, so just cool down, relax, by the end of the night you'll have your revenge and your body back.**

"You can't kill Harry!" Aria shrieked, everyone in the Dark corner looked at her; she blushed "I mean you can't because-"

"Aria, if you finish that sentence I will get mum and dad before they are supposed to get here!" Jamie growled, Aria pouted and started muttering something like, the seventh Harry Potter book and how it was so obvious.

**Voldemort: your right your right I'm being silly, but you know…. Quirrel over the last year I've really grown attached to you**

Laughter filled the room.

**No pun intended**

"Sure"

**Quirrel: yeah I know what you mean, but hey we'll still hang out. Just because we won't be attached doesn't mean we'll be two completely different people,**

More laughter, "Who comes up with these?" Harry chocked on laughter

**No pun intended, **

**Voldemort: no, no, no, course not, course not.**

_**Silence **_

**Hey Quirrel, we should make plans**

**Quirrel: evil plans?**

**Voldemort: Oh errrrrrrrrrrrrr, no casual plans**

Silence filled the room as everyone stared at Voldemort, "I didn't know you could be casual Tom?" Dumbledore said with the twinkling in his eyes, Voldemort scowled, "I am _human_ you know!" he hissed angrily, "Could have fooled me" Ron whispered to Lavender who giggled.

**Like um, we could go rollerblading on Saturday or see a movie that night?**

"Ok this is getting weird….. I don't like how I'm being portrayed" Voldemort sulked, Draco gave him a sympathetic look, "At least your character isn't a girl and rolls on the floor a lot!" he said, Voldemort laughed, "True, true"

**Quirrel: Yeah, it'll be great because we will both be able to watch it for a change, **

**Voldemort: yeah, yeah, bet it'll be nice to sleep in our own beds…. Not having someone behind you all the time **

**Quirrel: and have the privacy of my old life back again, solitude **

"Aww, Voldy is gonna Miss Quirrel" Hermione pointed out making everyone laugh, "I have to admit he was a pretty fun guy once you got through the whole scared thing" Voldemort said quietly.

**Voldemort: no, whatever happens tonight man, it's been a blast. **

**Quirrel: Yeah, one crazy yeah**

_**Voldemort does crazy tongue thing**_

**Hey, promise me we'll go rollerblading and see that movie**

**Voldemort: Oh man, I promise! **

"Why do I get the feeling you'll break that promise My Lord?" Severus asked, Voldemort smirked, "Because I'm evil" he said grinning like a maniac

_**Quirrel hugs himself**_

**Ok, Quirrell, let's go plant this key and spit! Pun intended!**

Laughter filled the room, then Harry realised what the next scene would be and caught Cho's eye, she was crying a little.

_**Quirrel puts turban back on just as Snape enters**_

**Snape: Oh Professor Quirrel, what on earth are you doing in the great dining hall, just minutes before the dance **

"Nosy bugger" Voldemort commented

**Quirrel: Just er decorating for the Yule Ball, last minute decorations just one final touch**

_**Puts ladle into the bowl**_

**Snape: A ladle? **

**Quirrel: a very special ladle, for a very special night, for a very special punch **

**Snape: what's so special about?**

**Quirrel: let's just say there's squirt in it**

**Snape: Squirt? Is that not the one favourite drink of Harry Potter?**

"Ooooh Professor Snape is on the case" Lavender commented

**Quirrel: is it? I had no idea….. Well we better be going**

**Snape: we?**

**Quirrel: I, I better be going and loud music hurts my ears **

**Snape: Ok then I'll see you later**

**Quirrel: Or maybe you won't**

**Snape: or maybe I will**

_**Look at each other then both exit while Dumbledore enters**_

**Dumbledore: Excuse me it was my fault, Hey Severus….**

**Snape: Oh headmaster**

**Dumbledore: what you doing in here? Getting some punch are ya?**

**Snape: No, no, no, I wouldn't touch that it's got squirt in it.**

**Dumbledore: Oh, only Harry Potter likes that bog shit, I'll stick to my red bull thank you very much**

More laughter

**Snape: well goodnight Headmaster **

**Dumbledore: Severus I saved this last dance for you**

Everyone looked at Dumbledore strangely.

**Snape: I would Headmaster but you see, an old friend is coming back into town tonight hehehehehe **

_**Screen fades**_

The entire light corner glared at Snape except Dumbledore, "Right we shall have a little break before we watch the next one" Dumbledore suggested, everyone nodded.

**A/N please review thanks **


	9. Chapter 9

**What if **

**Chapter 10**

Jamie grabbed Aria's arm and dragged her into a corner, "Mum and dad will be here soon." He told her. Aria's eyes filled with excitement that made them seem more silver. "Really when?" she asked, however before Jamie could answer there was a blinding light and there stood a man with messy black hair that fell into his emerald green eyes in a sexy way. He was standing next to a beautiful woman with waist length curly chestnut hair and her brown eyes gleamed with intelligence. "Mummy, daddy!" Aria cried as she ran into their arms, "Hey Ari!" the man said hugging her.

The rest of the room had slowly started to encircle around the three of them led by Harry, "Who are you?" he asked curiously. The man gave him a smirk and said "Merlin I look young, hey Mione what year were we in then?" he asked the woman. Harry and Hermione looked stunned to see their elder selves, but even more stunned to see they had married in the future. "Sixth year I think, yes the memories are starting to form, Arianna Lily Potter you are so grounded!" older Hermione said narrowing her eyes at her daughter, "Why?" Aria cried.

"Because you were sitting with the man who tried and failed countless times to kill your father!" Hermione shouted back. Aria pouted, "But Voldie's awesome!" Aria protested. The room went so silent you could hear a penny drop. Ron whistled lowly, "Gee Harry I never thought a kid of yours would say Voldemort was awesome…" he said to younger Harry. Both Harrys and Hermiones were staring at their daughter in shock, Dumbledore decided to intervene. "So Harry, Hermione, what brings you too our time?" he asked. Aria sent him a silent thank you in which he acknowledged.

"Well Headmaster, Aria here is obsessed with this muggle website called YouTube and decided to type in her dad's name when she discovered this musical. Both Harry and I decided that this could help us, our past selves figure out how to defeat Voldemort. So we sent Aria to get respectable people to come and watch it, why she sent for Death Eaters we don't know." Hermione explained.

Dumbledore nodded, however Voldemort looked outraged at the fact that Harry looked around thirty nine and very, very, _very _alive! Jamie decided to pipe up, "We should proberly watch the next clip before mum murders Ari" he suggested. Only Bellatrix heard Voldemort's tiny "Over my dead body she would make a great death eater!"

Ginny clicked on the next scene.

_**Author's notes: hello everybody I'm sorry I've not updated forever and this is such a short chapter. I just wanted to bring future Harry and Hermione into the picture, the next update will be at the weekend. Thank you **_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Hello everyone thank you for being so patient, this may sound really lazy but I'm not gonna be putting Chapter etc and the title you all can tell anyway.**_

_**Also due to the comments about Harry/Hermione ships I'm totally cool if you don't wanna read my fic because you don't like the pairings. Even though I think it's a bit childish, I respect your decisions.**_

_**Now on with the show!**_

…

_**Couples are walking onto the stage wearing dress robes while music is playing. Draco enters with Pansy while Ron enters alone head banging.**_

Teen Harry turned to Ron, "Mate what are you doing?" he asked, Ron shrugged. The tips of his ears going red.

_**Harry appears and looks slightly uncomfortable as he pushes his glasses up his nose in a sexy manner.**_

"Harry Potter you are some fine looking boy in this play!" Hermione cried, both Harrys pouted. "And we're not in real life?" they asked in unison. Both Hermiones smiled and kissed their respectable Harrys.

**Harry: Hey Ron**

**Ron: You seen Hermione anywhere?**

Both Hermiones shared a secret look.

**Harry: No I haven't why?**

**Ron: nothing, it's nothing it's just you know I heard ****Parvati Patil and Padma Patil say they saw Hermione in the girls locker room crying her eyes out in the bathroom stall.**

"Hey that was in first year! And it was _me _and Parvati who told you Ronald Weasley!" Lavender screeched. Everybody looked at her, "Wow Lavender I didn't know you cared?" young Hermione said staring at her dorm mate, Lavender scoffed, "Oh believe me Granger I don't I just hate it when people get their facts wrong!"

**Harry: Why?**

**Ron: I know isn't that just the saddest thing you've ever heard?**

"Well it's nice to know one of my best friends cares about me!" Hermione growled glaring at Ron, "Everybody run! Mummy's mad!" Aria shouted.

"No man is safe!" Jamie contributed.

The men in the fear shrunk back in fear.

**I dunno it was just inaudible that one day Hermione would realize that no guy would ever like her**

"Not true!" both Harrys shouted,

"Daddy you're talking to the screen" Aria said smartly, older Harry narrowed his eyes at his daughter. "Honey I was defending mummy" he said.

**Because of her obnoxious personality**

"I do not have an obnoxious personality!"

**Ugly face**

"Say one more word and your dead Weasley!"

**Uneven shaped body**

There was a loud crack as Jamie broke Ron's nose, "I warned you not to insult my mother!" he growled. Hermione stared proudly at her son while Aria and older Harry was trying not to laugh. "Ok, everyone that's enough, Mr Weasley are you ok?" Dumbledore asked as Lavender buzzed around her boyfriend. Ron nodded shakily, "Who taught your son how to punch?" he whispered to Harry. "My Uncle Dudley" Jamie said proudly. Younger Harry looked like he was about to throw up, he turned to his older self. "I still talk to the Dursleys?" he demanded, older Harry shook his head, "No only Dudley he actually turns out nice in the end"

**I just figured she would get at least one night of her life of happiness before she just growing old alone you know.**

"Aunty Ginny taught me the bat bogey hex, be careful Uncle Ron!" Aria warned sweetly. Bellatrix laughed as Ron moved quickly away from the Potter brat. "Hey Potter, if you want to learn the Cruciatus curse sometime look me up!" she shouted. Aria grinned while her brother and parents looked at her in horror.

**Draco: hey are you two over here talking about Granger?**

**Harry: Malfoy get outa here its none of your business! Why don't you go dance with Pansy over there.**

The real Draco shuddered and his behind Cho as if the real Pansy had entered the room.

**Draco: (To Pansy) hey go get me some punch**

**Pansy: Wait I should tell you the punch has squirt in it**

**Draco: Squirt**

**Ron: oh no**

**Draco: Never mind I'll stay dehydrated**

_**Pansy goes over to embrace Draco**_

**Go; go powder your nose or something**

**Pansy: I just fixed my makeup a little while ago **

**Draco: trust me you need more powder!**

"Draco Abarax Malfoy how dare you speak to a pure blood woman like that!" Bellatrix raged at her nephew who hid behind his Godfather.

_**Draco turned to Harry as Pansy leaves**_

**Draco: Pain in the arse right?**

_**Draco messes with his robes**_

**So anyway noticed Strangers not around here**

Ron turned to Jamie, "He just called your mum stranger and you don't attack him but I just say something and you rake my nose?" he demanded. Draco's reply was simply, "Why yes Uncle Ron I happen to like Uncle Draco, my best friend is his son and Scorpius wouldn't be happy if I hurt his father now would he?" he asked. Older Harry grinned and narrowed his eyes towards his best friend.

**Proberly better too, nobody would be able to keep their pizza (didn't know what the other thing was) down with that ugly mug darting about.**

There was a purple light and Draco was grasping his nose for he had just been hit by Aria's bat bogey hex, "What the hell?" he demanded, "Revenge! I hate Scorpius for making Ashley cry!" she growled fiercely.

**Ron: why don't you give her a break for once Malfoy? **

"*Hypocrite*" Hermione, Luna, Lavender, Bellatrix and Aria coughed.

**Draco: Why defending her Weasley? Have a crush?**

"Oooh!" Voldy shouted. Popcorn was thrown in his direction.

**Ron: no **_**Ron looks scared **_**why all the insults Malfoy covering up a crush?**

"Owned!" Voldy, Jamie, Harry, Ron, Neville, Dumbledore and Snape yelled

_**Harry and Ron circle around Draco as he nervously plays with his robes**_

**Draco: Oh right, right yeah like I'd have a crush on that stupid mudblood!**

"Draco well done!" Bella and Voldy shouted. More popcorn was aimed at them.

**Random person: Oh my God**

_**Hermione makes her entrance **_

**Cho: she looks beautiful bless he heart.**

"Mum!" Jamie and Aria shouted

_**Ron:  
>Here I am<br>face to face  
>with a situation I never thought I'd ever see<br>It's strange, how a dress  
>can take a mess, and make her nothing less than,<br>beautiful to me**_

_**Seems like my eyes have been transfigured  
>something deep inside has changed<br>they've open wide but hold that trigger  
>this could mean<br>Danger! I'm falling in love  
>Falling in love<br>Falling in love  
>I think I'm falling in love<br>Falling in love  
>Falling in love<br>With Hermione Granger**_

_**Draco:  
>What? What the hell is this?<strong>_

Everybody laughed at Draco's online face_**  
>you expect me to sing about her? Don't care about her!<strong>_

"Sure you don't honey!" Cho joked._**  
>It's just a little make-up, Draco wake up!<br>I've been mistaken.**_

_**She is the hottest girl I've ever seen!**_

"I saw her first!" Harry said growling at Malfoy who was blushing_**  
>now, because she's like a girl I've never seen<br>don't know why, I'd ever be so mean. **_

"Because you're a horrid little shit!" Ginny offered_**  
>This could mean<br>Danger! I'm falling in love  
>Falling in love<br>Falling in love  
>I could be falling in love<br>Falling in love  
>Falling in love<br>With Hermione Granger**_

_**Both:**_

_**I wanna let her know**_

_**Draco:**_

_**I feel so queasy**_

_**Both:**_

_**But I can't let it show**_

_**Ron:**_

_**She'd laugh, poor Weasley**_

_**Both:**_

_**Come on,**_

_**Ron:**_

_**Ron,**_

_**Draco:**_

_**Draco**_

_**Both:**_

_**You gotta let it go  
>You gotta let it go<strong>_

_**Ron: Draco:**_

_**Here I am What!  
>Face to face what the hell is this?<br>With a situation I want to sing about her  
>I never thought I'd ever see Sing about her<br>It's strange I want to make up  
>how a dress Granger, wake up!<br>can take a mess I've been mistaken  
>and make her nothing less than<br>beautiful to me**_

_**It feels like my eyes She is the hottest girl  
>have been transfigured I've ever seen<br>something deep inside Now, because she's like  
>has changed a girl I've never seen<br>they've been open wide Don't know why  
>but hold that trigger I'd ever be so mean<br>this could mean This could mean**_

_**Both:**_

_**Danger! I'm falling in love  
>Falling in love<br>Falling in love  
>I think I'm falling in love<br>Falling in love  
>Falling in love<br>With Hermione Granger**_

_**With Hermione Granger**_

_**With Hermione Granger**_

_**Danger!**_

"Aw I'm touched!" both Hermiones cried, while Draco and Ron blushed.

_**The scene fades with Draco running **_


End file.
